


Word On A Wing

by Luv_Bowie_Luver



Series: My Thin White Duke fics [1]
Category: David Bowie (Musician), Thin White Duke (Bowie Persona)
Genre: Drug Use, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Overdose, Self Harm, Semi Non-Con, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-20 08:21:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 56
Words: 38,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3643302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luv_Bowie_Luver/pseuds/Luv_Bowie_Luver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liana has lost people close to her because of drugs, it has made her very vocal about the subject. When she meets a lovely, young man whom she knows only as the Thin White Duke, Liana makes it her mission in life to save him but finds out very quickly that it isn't going to be easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Impressions

  
  
***

It wasn't a lot of fun being the only one out at night, Liana's friends had all gone home but she was still wired for the night and was looking for another club to visit. She was in the mood for something different, somewhere new to go. She drove around for a while and spotted a small, neon sign. Deciding to try it out, she got out of her car and went inside. It was a gorgeous little place, with a stage, tables and a bar. People were eating, drinking, smoking...  
  
  
"Perfect," smiled Liana, seating herself at a table for one.  
  
  
She looked around at the other patrons, the usual types were there and her gaze fell upon a young man who was walking by. He had short, dark hair and hazel eyes but he did not look back at Liana. She watched him sit down at another table, where she saw someone already seated. She lowered her gaze, because the other man glanced in her direction briefly and she was close enough to be able to hear their conversation perfectly.  
  
  
The Thin White Duke looked up as Sam sat down, a mild expression of surprise on his face.  
  
  
"Sam," he greeted his friend with a small smile, "it's been too long, how are you?"   Sam shrugged.  
  
  
"Not bad," he replied, stealing the Duke's fries that he hadn't touched since ordering them, "ugh, these are _cold!_ "  
  
  
"I'll order you some more," said Duke, "how's Louise?"  
  
  
"She dumped me, man," Sam was clearly bummed, then he looked up hopefully, "leaves my schedule clear, though... "  The Thin White Duke sat back, regarding Sam for a moment.  
  
  
"I can't stop thinking about you," Sam admitted, "probably why she left me, all I can ever talk about is you."  Duke shook his head, lighting up a cigarette.  
  
  
"What am I going to do with you?" he sighed, shaking his head in disapproval.

  
  
  
"Are you busy tonight?" asked Sam, "I thought, you know, maybe we could... "   Duke stared at him for a moment, as if considering the offer.  
  
  
"Show me your arm," he said sharply. Sam faltered, his smile faded.  
  
  
"What?" he asked, though he'd clearly heard what the Thin White Duke had said.  
  
  
"Your arm," the Duke repeated, "show it to me."  Sam looked shameful as he rolled back his sleeve, revealing obvious signs of attempted suicide all up along the underside of his wrist. The most recent was still freshly stitched up, it was even bleeding very slightly.  
  
  
"You promised you wouldn't do that anymore," the Duke spoke in a disapproving tone.  
  
  
"I was missing you," Sam tried to make his excuses, "Louise dumped me and I couldn't find you... "  
  
  
"Go home, Sam," said the Duke, turning his eyes away. Liana saw them shine briefly, full of pain and hurt. Sam hesitated for a moment, as if he were unsure of the Duke's conviction.  
  
  
"But... Just one night," Sam tried again, lowering his voice, "I want you so bad... "  The Thin White Duke looked back at Sam.  
  
  
"No, Sam," he spoke softly, "you lied to me."  Sam dropped his gaze and got to his feet slowly, leaving without another word.  
  
  
Liana felt his pain, she got up and sat herself down at the Duke's table.  
  
  
"Sorry," she started with an apology, "I kinda overheard, I know how you feel. I had a friend like that once, too."  If he wasn't happy about her just butting in, he didn't let on.  
  
  
"How did you cope?" he asked her, as if they'd been chatting together all night.  
  
  
"She got help," Liana replied, "but for a while there, it was hard. Really hard, so I know what you're going through."  He nodded slightly, staring at her in such a way that it made Liana realize he was high. She pursed her lips, it was her biggest pet peeve - drugs.  
  
  
"Is he your boyfriend?" she asked.  
  
  
"No," replied the Duke.  
  
  
"My name's Liana," she introduced herself.  He offered her a small smile, but did not introduce himself in return. Liana got the feeling she was being silently excused, but she couldn't let it go. He was so thin, high as a kite and possibly sick without even realizing it.  
  
  
"Do you come here a lot?" she asked him.  
  
  
"No," he answered her shortly. Of course not, if he was into drugs then he wouldn't be able to stay in the same place for too long.  
  
  
"Do you deal?" Liana lowered her voice.  He finished his cigarette, looked around and then leaned in closer.  
  
  
"What do you need?" he asked her.  
  
  
"What have you got?" Liana tried not to let him know she disapproved and she smiled slightly.  
  
  
"Coke," came the response she was looking for.  
  
  
"Is that what you're on?" she questioned him. The Thin White Duke leaned back a little, suddenly suspicious.  
  
  
"I have to go," he stood up quickly and left.  Liana sighed heavily, then she got up and headed out after him.  
  
  
"Wait, please!" she called but as he walked along, a car slowed down and he looked at it for a moment before opening the passenger side door and getting in. Liana leaned against the wall, discouraged. He'd got away, but _who was he?_


	2. Say No To Drugs

A few days later, Liana was telling her friend Maree about her encounter.  
  
  
"Sounds like you met the Thin White Duke," she smiled.  
  
  
"The what?" asked Liana.  
  
  
"The Thin White Duke," Maree repeated, "cold stare, white shirt with black vest... "  
  
  
"High as a _kite_ ," Liana added.  
  
  
"Yeah, well," Maree shrugged, "you're lucky, most of us only ever dream of bumping into him... And you can take that to mean anything you like!"  Liana shook her head and sighed.  
  
  
"I wish you'd stop with the drugs already," she said firmly, "they're not doing you any good."  
  
  
"I'm fine," Maree waved it away, "I'm young, I can handle it and besides... I've got it under control."  
  
  
"Sure," Liana rolled her eyes, "so where are we going tonight?"  
  
  
" _Private_ function," Maree grinned, "come on, let's go!"  Liana sighed, she knew what that meant and she wasn't at all pleased about it.  
  
  
*  
  
  
They arrived and got inside, Maree's name was on the list with Liana as her guest. It was normal enough to the untrained eye, but if she looked hard enough she could see the drugs everywhere.  
  
  
"Time for some fun!" grinned Maree.  
  
  
"I wish you wouldn't," Liana insisted. Maree spied someone she knew and moved towards them, leaving Liana to look around for somewhere to sit. She did not feel like dancing, but maybe a stiff drink would help her to ignore the dealings going on around her. Maree never stayed at these parties for long, so all Liana had to do was wait for her to get bored. She looked twice when she saw him, sitting at a table for two alone.  
  
  
Making her way over to him, she sat down and smiled at him; thankful to see a familiar face at last. He tensed up, looking flighty.  
  
  
"I'm sorry about the other night," Liana told him quickly, "I'm not a cop, okay?"  He didn't relax, but he didn't leave either.  
  
  
"Still interested then?" he asked her.  
  
  
"Actually," Liana admitted, "I don't take drugs... Sorry."   He leaned back calmly, lighting up a cigarette.  
  
  
"You don't honestly expect me to believe that?" he asked her, "at a function such as this?"  Liana's face turned red, it did look bad when he put it that way.  
  
  
"I'm just with a friend," Liana explained and he smirked at her but said nothing more about it.  
  
  
A man approached the table, touching the Thin White Duke's shoulder as he passed by. At first, the gesture seemed to go unnoticed and Liana watched the man disappear into the men's room. A moment later, the Duke put out his cigarette and stood up.  
  
  
"Excuse me," he said quietly. Liana nodded and watched, as he too disappeared into the men's room. She sighed, knowing he was either selling or buying drugs. Or worse, _taking_ them. Maree found Liana minutes later, seating herself at the table.  
  
  
"Ready to go?" asked Maree. Liana glanced towards the men's room, suddenly reluctant.  
  
  
"He's here," she told Maree.  
  
  
"What? Who is?" Maree looked around.  
  
  
"The Thin White Duke," Liana replied, "you said you wanted to meet him, right?"  Maree grinned.  
  
  
"We've met," she revealed, "it's bumping into him again that's hard to do, he's a speedy one... Where is he now?"  
  
  
"Men's room," Liana pointed out.  
  
  
"Probably getting some head," chuckled Maree.  
  
  
"That's gross," Liana wrinkled her nose.  
  
  
"What?" Maree didn't look surprised at all, "not everyone can afford his shit."  
  
  
"And that's exactly what it is, too," Liana sat back, "shit that fucks you up until it kills you."  Maree stood up.  
  
  
"Come on," she said, tugging at Liana's arm, "let's go."  Liana stood up slowly, she didn't want to leave but Maree wasn't waiting; already near the door.  
  
  
"You bought some, didn't you?" Liana asked Maree, as they walked along the street to find a less crowded place to eat.  
  
  
"If it bothers you so much," Maree replied, "then don't ask me about it."


	3. Armed Escort

Liana followed her into a restaurant, wishing her friend would just listen to her already.  They had a quiet meal and Liana kept looking at Maree.  
  
  
"Would you quit it with that nag-face?" Maree frowned.  
  
  
"I don't have a _nag-face!_ " Liana retorted.  
  
  
"You do so!" Maree pointed at her, "you're doing it right now."  
  
  
"Well I'm not sorry," Liana folded her arms, "you know how I feel about... Stuff." She decided it would be better not to say 'drugs' too often in public, one never knew who was listening.  
  
  
"Look, I know okay?" Maree softened her tone, "we've been best friends since forever, I was right there with you when your mom died."  Liana lowered her head a little, she had lost her mother to an overdose of heroin and had been dead set against all drugs from then on.  
  
  
"Let's get outta here," Maree grabbed her handbag. Liana sighed heavily, no matter what she said to Maree; she always ended up rushing off to the nearest dealer. Now, she'd be in a hurry to get home and use.  
  
  
"You go," Liana refused, "I'm gonna hang about a bit longer and go home."  
  
  
"Alright," Maree stood up, "see you."  
  
  
Liana nodded and watched her leave, then she drank the rest of her wine and went to her car outside. She felt drunk...  
  
  
"Damnit," she held her head, trying to stop the world from spinning.  
  
  
"You look like shit," came an amused voice. Liana turned and saw the Thin White Duke, he was leaning against a street lamp and smoking a cigarette; clearly waiting for someone.  
  
  
"You can talk," Liana bit back.  He raised a brow at her, as if unsure what she meant.  
  
  
"You're not planning to drive?" he asked her, "that wouldn't be very sensible."  
  
  
"Coming from _you?_ " Liana couldn't believe his cheek, "unbelievable."  
  
  
"What's wrong with _me?_ " asked the Duke. Liana held her tongue.  
  
  
"I'm sorry," she didn't want to get into a fight with him, "I just don't like to see people destroy their bodies... "   He was silent, his gaze flicked away from her as he finished his cigarette. Liana wasn't sure what to do, she didn't have nearly enough money to afford a cab home and she couldn't risk losing her license for drink driving. The Duke's gaze returned to her, because she was just standing there looking lost.  
  
  
"Need a ride somewhere, luv?" he offered.  
  
  
" _You_ drive?" Liana raised her brow at him.  
  
  
"No," he replied.  Probably just as well.  
  
  
"I'll be alright," Liana waved it away, "the walk will do me good."  
  
  
"Give me a few minutes," he told her, "I'll walk with you."  
  
  
"What for?" Liana frowned, "I know where I live."   He smiled amusedly at her.  
  
  
"Anything could happen," he said quietly, "wait for me."  
  
  
Liana looked around, she supposed he was right but why did he give a damn what happened to her?  He suddenly walked away and she was left standing there, waiting for him alone. She clutched her handbag tightly as some people walked by, they were chatting away and barely noticed her. Then, two guys approached her and they were nudging each other with looks of ill intent upon their faces. Liana swallowed dryly, their eyes locked onto her and they stalked towards her like predators.  
  
  
"Are you lost there, little lady?" asked one of them with a smirk.  
  
  
"What's in the bag, eh?" jeered the other.  Liana tried to rush by them, but they grabbed her arms.  
  
  
"Let me go!" Liana shouted. Suddenly, one of them looked up and stopped smirking.  
  
  
"Dude," he tapped the other's shoulder, "dude, come on... "  
  
  
"What?" asked the one still holding Liana's arm. He glanced up behind Liana and swore, then they took off hurriedly. Liana looked confused, turning around and expecting to see a policeman walking along the street. The Thin White Duke was the only person in sight, but why would they run from him?  He didn't look at all like the thug type, he was so thin they could easily have broken his arm or his leg.  
  
  
"Alright?" he asked her, his eyes gazing into hers. Liana nodded, but was shaking from her encounter. She turned and he walked with her towards her home, she wasn't too keen on having a dealer know where she lived but those two men had unnerved her enough not to complain.  
  
  
"So... You're well known," Liana tried to start up a conversation with him that did not involve drugs.  
  
  
"I get around," he agreed.  
  
  
"Those guys were afraid of you," Liana pointed out, "do you have, like... A really big, bad friend who would mess them up?"  He offered a partial smile.  
  
  
"It's called a gun," he told her outright.

  
  
  
"Have you ever used it?" Liana asked him curiously.  
  
  
"No," he replied, "don't need to."  Liana nodded, thank goodness for that.  
  
  
"I suppose one look at it and people stop bothering you then?" she assumed.  
  
  
"Something like that," he answered, "it's not even loaded half the time."  Liana laughed and they soon arrived at her house, she gestured to it awkwardly.  
  
  
"Well, this is me," she said, stopping and looking at him, "thank you for the armed escort, I'll be alright from here." He paused to light up a cigarette, Liana tried not to but she couldn't just say nothing.  
  
  
"You should really consider giving up the drugs," she tried again, "I know it's hard but I could help you... "  He drew on his cigarette, inhaled and slowly breathed it out again.  
  
  
"Goodnight Liana," he said stiffly.  Liana sighed, shaking her head.  
  
  
"You're such a lovely man," she told him, scoldingly, "what a shameful waste."  She walked to her front door and let herself in, turning to look at the Thin White Duke; but he'd gone. Liana felt a little guilty, but if she could plant the seeds they might just bloom so she'd never give up trying to help people like Maree and the Thin White Duke.  
  
  
"Maybe I care too much," she told herself, as she climbed into bed, "maybe I do, but if I can save just one person from ending up like mom... "  She drifted off to sleep, not finishing her sentence.


	4. Another Victim

A few days went by and Liana had not heard from Maree, so she decided to go and see her and make sure she was still on for the weekend. They had plans to celebrate Maree's birthday, it was going to be a big deal and Liana had even arranged a surprise after-party for later on. When she got to Maree's house, she knocked for a few minutes before trying the door handle and finding it unlocked.  
  
  
"Maree?" Liana ventured inside and stopped short, an abrupt scream of horror escaping her. She found Maree passed out on the sofa, she didn't appear to be breathing. Liana rushed over to her, crying and shaking Maree's shoulders; trying to rouse her. She hurried over to the phone and called an ambulance, but it was too late. Maree had overdosed some days ago, probably the night Liana had last spoken to her.  
  
  
**  
  
  
It was quite a long time before Liana felt ready to go out again, her friends worried about her and often invited her wherever they were going but she always declined. Sometimes they would visit her and just hang out, making sure she was alright. Liana was never going to be alright, because everywhere she went she was always noticing the damage of drugs. Even worse, it was happening to younger and younger people all the time.


	5. Kiss Of Death

One night, she was sitting with a few friends who she knew did drugs but just not when she was around; when she saw him again.

  
  
  
It had been ages but he was quite easy to recognize. Liana excused herself and walked over to his table, knowing he would always seat himself at a table for two in case someone wanted to score. She took the seat and he smiled at her briefly in greeting, but Liana did not smile back. She was surprised he even knew who she was, or perhaps he had no idea and was merely being polite.  
  
  
"I thought you'd disappeared," he told her casually, picking up a glass of water but not drinking it, "how have you been, Liana?"  
  
  
"Not great," Liana appreciated the fact that he had managed to retain some information even after all this time, "a friend of mine died a while back, so I've been staying home a lot."  He didn't seem phased by the news, but then he probably saw people die all the time.  
  
  
"What happened to your friend?" he asked politely, though Liana knew he wasn't really interested.  
  
  
"She didn't listen to me," Liana answered, "I told her to stop the drugs, now she's gone."  He sat back and turned away from her, searching the crowd for a moment before turning his attention back to Liana.  
  
  
"I'm sorry," he shook his head slightly, "that must have been awful for you."  
  
  
"I suppose you're used to it," Liana said quietly.  
  
  
"No," the Thin White Duke answered her, "it's something you never quite get used to. One moment they're fine and then the next, gone."  
  
  
"But that's just it," Liana told him, "they're not fine, they're not okay. Drugs only make you believe things are alright while they slowly eat you alive. Don't you see it?"  
  
  
He either didn't want to know or he just didn't care, his gaze averted back to the crowd and Liana glanced up as a woman danced over to them. She put her arms around the Duke's neck, smiling at him lustfully and they started kissing. Liana sat back, one brow raised and a look of disbelief on her face. The woman sat in the Duke's lap, grinding her lower half into his crotch before they eventually broke apart and she wandered off somewhere.  
  
  
"Who was she?" asked Liana. The Thin White Duke shrugged.  
  
  
"You don't know her?" asked Liana.  He didn't answer her, but then he didn't really need to. After a minute or two, he didn't look okay.  
  
  
"Hey," Liana tried to get his attention, "what's the matter?"  He looked at her strangely, then he gently excused himself and went to the men's room but Liana couldn't help noticing the slight stagger in his step. She looked around and saw the woman from a few minutes ago, Liana got up and approached her.  
  
  
"What did you do to him?" she demanded. The woman smiled at her.  
  
  
"Just slipped him something," she shrugged, "no biggie."  
  
  
Liana felt angry, the woman had something in her mouth and had given it to the Thin White Duke secretly as they kissed. Even he wouldn't have noticed, it was dangerous to mix drugs together so she felt worried about him and walked to the men's room door. She opened it a little, peering inside but nobody was there except the Thin White Duke. He was putting cold water onto his face, then he winced and went into a stall. Liana closed the door, she'd seen enough people throwing up in her life; so she didn't need to hear him doing it, too.  
  
  
"Smart move," she said to herself, for purging the new drug - probably a pill or capsule, would get rid of it out of his system. Or at least, that was probably the idea anyway.


	6. He Followed Me Home

Liana stayed leaning against the wall, just outside to wait for him to exit. She knew she was a nag, but apparently she wasn't a big enough nag. She also knew it annoyed people who simply did not want to listen. Watching a couple dancing together, she smiled a little and wished for some intimacy in her life, too. She was attracted to the Thin White Duke but her idea of a relationship was quite possibly nothing like his own, she imagined him fucking one night stands and leaving before morning. She sighed heavily, why was it always the good looking ones? She found herself thinking about him more and more, he wasn't always nice but he was polite and made time to talk to her. He came out of the men's room, looking more pale than usual.  
  
  
"Maybe you should go home and sleep it off," Liana suggested, touching his arm gently. He looked at her and she felt so sad in that moment, because he was beautiful and he was wasting away.  
  
  
"I'll be alright in a few," he told her, "I've taken more drugs than you could name, it's going to take more than a pill to send me home." He smiled at her and they returned to the table, he ordered a scotch and Liana shook her head.  
  
  
"Where do you live?" she asked him.  
  
  
"Around," he spoke quietly, "why do you want to know?"  
  
  
"I was thinking maybe you could stay with me for a while," Liana was casual about it, "I mean, you know, if you want to."  He considered her offer and then he nodded slightly.  
  
  
"Alright," he agreed, "thank you."  Liana smiled happily back at him, for the next few nights at least she would know that he was sleeping somewhere safe.  
  
  
"You can't do drugs in my home, though," she cautioned him, "or deal them, either."  He did not protest.  
  
  
"Your home," he said firmly, "your rules."  Liana nodded, relieved that he understood and didn't get worked up over it. So he had some control over his habits, that was a start. She planned to get him off the drugs that would ultimately kill him, she hoped she wouldn't be too late this time.  
  
  
"What do you charge?" he asked her. Liana didn't quite catch his drift.  
  
  
"Pardon?" she looked confused.  
  
  
"For the room," replied the Thin White Duke, "what do you want in return?"  Liana fell silent, she hadn't counted on him asking her that.  
  
  
"I hadn't thought about it, to be honest," she answered him. He looked a little wary, glancing around the venue before returning his gaze back to her.  
  
  
"We could fuck?" he shrugged calmly, lifting a brow in questioning.  Liana was taken aback.  
  
  
"You don't have to do that," she told him, "you're my guest."  
  
  
He looked at her as though she'd just said something completely insane, she realized it sounded odd but she cared about him and she wanted to keep tabs on his movements. Her first mission, as impossible as it seemed, was to get him fed! It was just as well that Liana was a good cook; he could only benefit from her home cooked meals.  
  
  
"Let's take things one day at a time," Liana told him, "come home with me and see if you like the place first." If she could get him away from this place, he'd be less likely to deal or use. He was thoughtful for a moment, before he agreed and they left shortly after.  
  
  
*  
  
  
Liana drove home and let him inside to look around, she locked her front door quietly with the intent of keeping him here for the rest of the night.  
  
  
"So what do you think?" she asked him, as he explored her home like a cat in a new building.  
  
  
"It's different," he mused, "where will I sleep?"  
  
  
"Well," Liana glanced around, "is the sofa okay?"  He examined it carefully and sat upon it.  
  
  
"It's nice," he approved, "yes this will do."  
  
  
Liana was pleased, step one was complete.  
  
  
  
*

"Hungry?" Liana asked him, walking into her kitchen.  
  
  
"A little," he replied, though she knew he was probably lying.  
  
  
"I was going to have dinner," she said brightly, "should I make a bit extra?"  He was fidgeting, lighting up a cigarette two seconds later and she got the feeling he wasn't as high as he'd been earlier. He was coming down, that wasn't going to be much fun and it was probably making him feel terrible by now. Fuck he was hot, though.  
  
  
"I'll make extra," she said with a smile and started cooking.  
  
  
She kept an eye on him while she was making the dinner, the way he paced up and down made her feel uneasy for some reason.  
  
  
"Almost ready," she told him, as she started to put the meal onto two plates.  
  
  
"Where's the bathroom?" he asked her suddenly.  She looked at him with an expression of warning.  
  
  
"Remember your promise," she told him, "it's just down the hall to your right."  He didn't look at her and vanished into the hallway, Liana sighed. What could she do if she caught him using in her house? She didn't have the heart to kick him out, she'd do him no favors that way at all. Not to mention the way he made her feel, just by being there.  
  
  
He stood in the bathroom, looking in the mirror. His hands shook as he fumbled around in his pockets, but he'd used the last of his cocaine yesterday and hadn't bothered to buy more just yet. He had to get out of here, he needed more. He exited the bathroom shortly after, Liana didn't notice a change in his eyes so she accepted that he hadn't done anything wrong and put the plates onto the table. Sitting down, she gestured for him to join her.


	7. First Night

The Thin White Duke hesitated, food was not his friend but it actually smelled really good. He sat down, but much to Liana's disappointment he barely touched it.  
  
  
*  
  
  
"It's getting cold," Liana pointed out, as she finished her own dinner, "want me to warm it up?"  
  
  
"I think I'll go for a walk," he stood up. Liana frowned and stood up as well, glancing at the time.  
  
  
"It's almost midnight," she said, bewildered, "where are you off to?"   He turned to look at her, a curious expression on his handsome features.  
  
  
"Anywhere I _please_!" he told her firmly, "goodnight, Liana."  He tried the door, finding it locked and looking around for the keys.  
  
  
"I _know_ where you're going," Liana said bluntly.  
  
  
"Then why _ask me?_ " he demanded back, "open the door!"  She shook her head and he ran his hands through his hair, she saw the trembling of his body and frowned.  
  
  
"Liana, please," he begged her.  
  
  
"I don't want to see you this way," Liana told him gently.  
  
  
"Then let me go!" he insisted, his eyes ablaze. Liana reached for the keys and he watched her intently, his breathing slightly rapid. Liana took them from her pocket and he tensed up when he heard them jingle. She showed him the keys, then dropped them down the front of her clothes.  
  
  
"Liana," his voice was pleading.  
  
  
She didn't move, didn't speak.  
  
  
He walked over to her and slowly started to unbutton her blouse, his eyes searching hers briefly before dropping to her breasts as the blouse fell open. Liana reached behind herself as his gaze looked for the elusive keys, she unhooked her bra and let it drop along with her blouse to the floor. His attention distracted by her now exposed breasts, he seemed uncertain of her motives and Liana reached out towards him. She placed her hand upon the back of his neck, pulling him in and kissing him softly.  
  
  
His hands came around to cup her buttocks, slipping down into her panties to squeeze and part them with his long fingers as they made out. Liana moaned quietly, her free hand stroking his erection through his pants and she felt encouraged by how hard he was. They stumbled to the sofa, Liana ensuring he was shirtless by the time they got to it and fumbling with his belt. Shoving his trousers down to his ankles, she pushed him down onto the sofa and sat in his lap with her legs wrapped around his waist. She continued to kiss him deeply, her tongue in his mouth and the taste of something unusual finding it's way into hers.  
  
  
_Was it residue from the pill he'd been slipped earlier?_  
  
  
Would it affect her in some way?    
  
  
Liana felt his fingers as they located her entrance, already moist from her thoughts about him before dinner. In a way, she was trying to keep him from roaming, but mostly she just couldn't keep her hands off him anymore. Using her arousal to lubricate himself, the Thin White Duke pushed his cock deep into her. Liana groaned loudly, thrusting a little to get as much of him into her as possible. He uttered a sexual growl of approval, making her heart pound in her chest. He started driving himself in and out of her, Liana arched her back and met his thrusts with her own.  
  
  
He pushed her down onto her back on the sofa, laying on top of her. Liana wrapped her arms and legs around him, holding him tightly against her and kissing his neck. They began to breathe heavily, audibly gasping from time to time as their bodies rubbed against each other. She felt her breasts crushed into his chest, but the way he moved slightly up and down along her body with his thrusts, made it feel wonderfully erotic. She felt his fingers now, as his cock drove into her he would tease her clit and when he pulled out partially he would press down onto her clit and drive himself back into her once more.  
  
  
Liana felt herself caving in, she closed her eyes and he captured her lips with his own. She felt his tongue delve into her mouth again, he moaned and she tensed up to ride out her orgasm while clinging tightly to him. Pressing down onto his butt, she parted her thighs and he thrust so deeply into her then that she felt his balls touching her. Her orgasm continued on for several moments, her inner walls ensuring his release that followed soon after. He swore as his cock throbbed and pulsed, spurting inside of her in bursts. Liana arched into him, stroking his soft balls and fondling them while he came. He moaned again, right into her ear and she shuddered with pleasure.  
  
  
Breathing heavily, he let her sit up and slowly pulled himself out of her. Liana now felt like showering, but only because of the hot juices that had suddenly seeped out of her and covered her thighs. She looked at the sofa and then at the Thin White Duke with an embarrassed smile, he touched her face.  
  
  
"I guess we could share my bed," Liana said sheepishly and he nodded silently, lighting up a cigarette and settling back into the sofa. Liana sighed, completely smitten with him but also happy that he wasn't trying to leave anymore.  
  
  
"Liana," he spoke after a time. She glanced at him, still seated by his side, unwilling to leave him alone lest he vanish into the night. He didn't say anything more, as his eyes closed slowly and she realized he was passing out. She nudged him gently, his eyes flickered back open and she led him into the bedroom to sleep it off while she showered.


	8. I Will Save Him

Liana had to go out the next morning to buy some more food, she planned to cook up a storm once she got him eating so she was going to need some supplies. He was still asleep when she left, so she did her best to hurry but she kept running into people she knew and ended up taking half the day. When Liana finally got home, she put the groceries away and went to her bedroom to check on him but he wasn't there. She called out for him, with no response so she checked the living room. She found him unconscious on the sofa, with a panicked gasp Liana rushed over to him and shook his shoulders gently to try and wake him.  
  
  
"Please, not again," she cried softly, "wake up.. "   He slowly opened his eyes, bewildered but alright.  
  
  
"Liana," he seemed perfectly fine, "what're you doing?"  
  
  
"You were passed out!" Liana scolded him.  
  
  
"It's not the first time," he bit back.  
  
  
"Maybe not," Liana's voice quivered, "but it easily could have been the last!"  He stood up and she took a step back from him.  
  
  
"What do you want from me?!" he demanded.  
  
  
"I want you to stop taking drugs!" Liana shouted at him, "they're _killing_ you!!"  The Thin White Duke rolled his eyes at her.  
  
  
"I can't," he said firmly.  
  
  
"You _can_ ," Liana lowered her voice, "I could help you."  He stared hard at her.  
  
  
"I'm in too deep, Liana," he told her, "they make me feel so good."  
  
  
"No!" Liana shook her head, "it's all false! They just make you believe it, please... If you want to feel good, you know that sex is a much safer alternative... If it's with the right person."  
  
  
The Thin White Duke was silent then, going over her words in his mind. She was offering him sex _now?_ Liana watched him for a moment, uncertain about his train of thought. Was he even _listening_ anymore?  
  
  
"Do you want me?" she whispered softly.  He stared at her with those cold, piercing blue eyes.  
  
  
"No," he responded firmly. Liana felt her heart shatter and she nodded, then turned and began to walk away.  He swallowed dryly, he could not believe he was about to do this but perhaps she was right. It was time he stopped making excuses...  
  
  
"I _need_ you," he spoke quietly. Liana froze in her tracks, turning slowly to look at him, tears still glittering in her eyes. He held out his hand to her, his eyes silently pleading for her help. She ran into his embrace with barely a moment's hesitation, holding his thin frame tight against her body.  
  
  
"It's not going to be easy," she told him, her voice trembling.  
  
  
"I know," he whispered, then he drew back and stared hard into her eyes, "but don't stop trying."  Liana felt the tears trickling down her cheeks.  
  
  
"I'll **never** give up on you," she whispered back. He leaned in and kissed her, his eyes closing and she knew already that this was going to be a long, difficult journey for them both.


	9. Don't Let Me Down

It wasn't more than two days later when Liana's first real confrontation with the Thin White Duke occurred since he'd tried to leave. He was crashing - hard. She hadn't seen him all morning, despite calling him to breakfast several times. She tried the bathroom door, but it was locked and she sighed heavily.  
  
  
"Let me in," she spoke gently through the door. She heard him in there, he sounded as though he were in a lot of pain but he somehow managed to unlock the door. She entered the bathroom and looked down, he sat up against the wall and Liana knelt down beside him quietly. His body was contorting in pain, his breathing was ragged and uneven. It was a cruel fate, to go completely 'cold turkey' without professional help and Liana had seen the effects if it failed.  
  
  
Some people died going through the process, it was quite a frightening time.  
  
  
"I can't," he spoke softly, his tone desperate, "Liana, please... I need something, anything... "  Liana chewed her bottom lip, almost relenting but if she let him skip out on her now he may never return.  
  
  
"We will get through this together," she reassured him, "this is the worst of it, you'll feel better tomorrow... "  
  
  
"I could easily feel better in ten minutes!" he snapped at her, his eyes fiery with anger but then he doubled up and groaned in pain once more.  Liana's heart ached for him, she knew that he would lash out at her and she would allow the blame to fall upon her shoulders. He'd thank her for it later, but for now she had to support him as best she could. Liana stood up and went to the kitchen, poured him a drink and brought it to him. He slowly took it from her, gazing down into the glass silently. Liana jumped as he threw it violently at the wall, the glass shattered and the alcohol splashed everywhere.  
  
  
"Damnit, Duke!" she scolded him, unfairly. She stormed out of the bathroom and collapsed onto her knees in the hallway, sobbing hard into her hands.


	10. Does It Hurt?

  
  
  
*  
  
  
She startled when she felt his arm go around her, their tears intermingling as they kissed each other softly at first and then more feverishly moments later. He tore at her blouse, pushed up her skirt and pulled down her panties. Liana gasped, he wasn't being gentle about it but she made no effort to protest nor did she try to stop him. He needed some way to release, she needed to feel him inside of her again; they were both using each other. He hauled her against him, forcing her down onto her back and he began to thrust into her.  
  
  
Liana cried out in pain at first, he was aware enough to loosen his grip on her and she began to moan in short bursts along with his furious thrusting. His own cries of pleasure soon mingled with hers, ragged half growls that ended in low moaning sounds. It wasn't the romantic escape she'd been hoping for, but if she closed her eyes she could imagine better circumstances. Liana groaned and tensed up, an all too fast orgasm hit her like a lightning bolt. His wasn't much longer after hers, the rough thrusts soon coming to a gentler pace as he slowed and pulled out of her. She lay on the floor, panting and sweating while he pulled out of her. He watched her sit up and they embraced, he'd stopped trembling and she felt better for it.  
  
  
"I'm sorry," he whispered. Liana shook her head.  
  
  
"Don't be," she replied softly, "I love you."  
  
  
He kissed her, long and sensual. Liana sighed into the passionate make out session, feeling his fingers trailing up and down her back.  
  
  
**

A few hours later, Liana had showered and she was feeling proud of herself because she'd gotten him to finally have breakfast this morning. It hadn't been the best start to the day, but she had watched him actually finish a meal for the first time. That was quite an accomplishment, of course he did throw up some half an hour later but it was a start.  
  
  
He sat on the sofa now, having showered and was dressing himself. Liana walked over to him, he lit up a cigarette and then kept buttoning up his shirt.  
  
  
"We should go out tonight," she suggested.  He looked at her strangely, apparently not too keen on the idea.

  
  
  
"Are you serious?" he asked her.  
  
  
"I think it'll be good for you," Liana nodded, "we can leave anytime you want to... "   He was silent as he finished dressing, then he stood up and took a drag of his cigarette.  
  
  
"Alright," he agreed, "but you don't argue when I tell you it's time to go."  Liana took his hand into hers.  
  
  
"I promise," she smiled at him reassuringly, "if you're not ready, we'll just come back here."

  
She watched him carefully, he seemed to struggle a little with his movements. Her heart was beating quickly with nerves, afraid that he wouldn't return home with her.  
  
  
"Has the pain gone?" Liana asked him.  
  
  
"Sometimes it's less," he replied, "but it's never gone."  Liana wished there was more she could do to help him, but he was quiet for now so she went about her usual routine.


	11. Suicidal Thoughts

The Thin White Duke was aware that Liana kept an eye on him, it was both disconcerting and comforting at once. To know that he was being watched like some untrusted villain was unsettling him, but the thought that there was someone looking out for him was a much nicer way of looking at it. Liana didn't like the way the Thin White Duke was behaving, he seemed like he was a trapped animal and was very restless. He paced a lot, as if in a zoo behind bars but he never complained to her outright about how he might be feeling.  
  
  
She wished he would talk to her, it might help him to calm down. The Thin White Duke stood by the window in the living room, staring out and scratching the back of his hand absently. He suspected that Liana had an ulterior motive for keeping him here, she wanted him for pleasure. She didn't really care about him, nobody cared about anybody in this world and she was no different. He felt irritable, but he also suddenly noticed a wave of fatigue wash over him. Instinct drove him to search his pockets, but there wasn't anything in them except his pistol.  
  
  
His fingers closed around it, a momentary thought of blasting his suffering away passed through his mind. Liana was in the doorway, she knew what was in his hand, but it was the look in his eyes that frightened her more.  
  
  
"Everything alright?" she ventured. He took his hand out of his pocket, sniffing loudly and nodding.  
  
  
"Just _dandy_ ," he replied, irritably.  
  
  
"Wanna talk about it?" Liana asked him.  
  
  
"I'm tired," he answered her heavily, fidgeting nervously, "I just need a quick pick-me-up."  Liana shook her head, gently.  
  
  
"We've come this far," she told him, but he wasn't listening.  
  
  
"You love to see me in pain, don't you?" he accused her, agitated now.  
  
  
"That's not true!" Liana raised her voice, tears stinging her eyes.  
  
  
"It is! You want me on my knees so you can come and make it all better," he paced restlessly, then he stopped and pointed at her, "you want to keep me here, feeding me your hot food and making me sleepy. Don't you think for a moment that I'm not onto you!"  
  
  
Liana tried to remain calm, she knew that extreme suspicion and paranoia were signs that he'd abstained from using and that it was a good thing but damn... His words cut like an icy knife plunging into her heart. It made tonight all the more important, he had to get out of the house and face reality for what it was. If he could stay away from the drugs tonight, she would know for certain that he was serious about giving them up.  
  
  
"I know you're hurting," her voice trembled, "but I care deeply for you, Duke. Please don't push me away... "  
  
  
He scowled at her, he felt sick to his stomach and reached into his pockets again; swearing when he was reminded yet again that they were barren of all mind altering substances. Liana startled when he swore, suddenly a little more afraid of him than she felt comfortable with.  
  
  
"Why don't you lay down and rest?" she suggested, "there's still a few hours before we go out."  
  
  
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he bit back, hurting her feelings again.  
  
  
She stepped aside when he walked by, her heart hammering in her chest as the bedroom door slammed shut. Liana sank down onto the sofa, her hands shaking and her tears finally spilling onto her cheeks. She knew this wasn't him, he was a lovely man going through a hard time.  
  
  
She needed to be patient, but she was only human and it was starting to bring her down.  
  
  
*

Sleep was a fearful state to be in, he had avoided it as much as possible for a long time but fatigue was catching up with him and he did not feel good. His eyes closed, despite his efforts to keep them open and he fell into a restless slumber. Liana silently opened the bedroom door, making sure not to wake him but wanting to be able to see him. It's not that she didn't trust him, but that look in his eyes when he held his gun was enough to make her worry for his life.  
  
  
Liana began to prepare lunch, she felt sad and exhausted. She stopped and left the kitchen to go and curl up on the sofa, knowing he wouldn't eat anything anyway and she closed her eyes.


	12. About Sam

Liana had no idea how long she had slept for, but it was getting dark by the time she woke up. What had woken her?  She sat up and looked around, then she heard the Thin White Duke scream out. She rushed to the bedroom door and looked in, he was perspiring and grimacing but his eyes were closed. She decided he was having an unpleasant dream, so she sat on the edge of the bed and ran her fingers through his hair gently.  
  
  
His breathing was rapid, he grasped her wrist tightly and pushed it away before writhing and twisting in apparent agony.  
  
  
"Duke, wake up!" Liana urged him, "you're having a nightmare... Duke?  Duke!"  
  
  
His eyes opened, blinking uncertainly before focusing on Liana. It was silent for a few moments as he adjusted to reality, his breathing slowed as he calmed down.  
  
  
"Is it time for lunch?" he asked her sleepily, "I'm starving." Liana smiled a little, shaking her head with mild amusement and marveling at what a little sleep could do for someone's mood.  
  
  
"Let's go out to dinner," she reminded him, "you know, if you feel up to it."   He got out of bed and stretched, giving a small yawn.  
  
  
"Of course I'm up to it," he informed her, "come on, before all the good stuff's taken."  Liana frowned.  
  
  
"What stuff?" she stood up.  He seemed to realize what he'd just said and he bit his bottom lip, seemingly ashamed but she didn't pursue it. Perhaps it was simply habit talking, she certainly hoped that this was the case and he wasn't planning to buy drugs.  
  
  
**  
  
  
They were seated at a table, Liana was keen to get her dinner and waited patiently for it to be brought over to them. The Thin White Duke just felt queasy and made no effort to hide it from her, which Liana was grateful for because she would rather know exactly what he was feeling than have to try to guess.  
  
  
"Do you want to leave?" she asked him.  
  
  
"No," he replied, shifting in his seat restlessly.  
  
  
Liana was glad, but she hoped he wasn't just dealing with this for her sake. She wanted him to be as comfortable as possible during this difficult time, it wouldn't make things any easier for either of them if he refused to admit that he wasn't feeling up to it. A man walked by and touched the Thin White Duke's shoulder, he ignored it and the man walked into the toilets.  
  
  
"What does that mean?" Liana finally asked him, "when someone touches your shoulder?"  
  
  
"It depends on which shoulder they touch," he replied. She knew that he did not like being touched, but seemed to tolerate it in moderation.  
  
  
"If it's the right," he went on, "they want to buy, if it's the left - they want to sell."   Liana frowned, the man had touched his _left_ shoulder...  
  
  
Their food was brought over and placed in front of them, Liana decided to eat very slowly because the Duke wasn't even looking at the meal on the table. His attention was everywhere at once, but she smiled secretly to herself when he picked up his fork and ate a mouthful every so often; possibly out of boredom. He was hungry, but the general feeling of nausea stopped the desire to eat from taking control. He'd stopped throwing up, his stomach being unused to so much food entering it had upset his system but now it had settled down. Liana was still stinging from his accusations earlier that day, it drained her efforts to try and brighten up for appearances sake.  
  
  
Another man approached the Thin White Duke, but this one stopped and knelt down a little to meet with the Duke eye to eye.  
  
  
"How're you holding up?" the man asked. Liana looked a little shocked, how did this guy know?  The Duke looked at the man, seemingly unaware of the context of the question.  
  
  
"He was a good guy, Sam," the man shook his head sadly, "I'm gonna miss the little shit."  
  
  
"He... He's dead?" asked the Duke.  The man seemed surprised.  
  
  
"Oh, fuck... Sorry man... I thought you knew," he hugged the Thin White Duke very briefly and walked away. Liana started to worry, remembering how close this Sam guy was to the Duke.  
  
  
"Maybe we should go," she said softly.  
  
  
"Hm?" he seemed to snap out of it, "oh.. No, it's fine. Sammy's always pulling stunts like that, he's alright though. Probably in hospital again, that's all."   Liana pursed her lips, he clearly wouldn't accept Sam's death. She left it for now, finishing her meal and was glad that he'd at least eaten around half of his own. He shifted uncomfortably, Liana felt empathy towards him and pushed her plate aside.  
  
  
"Do you need to wash up?" she asked him. He nodded, getting up slowly and Liana noticed that his movements had certainly slowed down from when she had first met him. She watched him go into the men's room and relaxed a little, knowing he wasn't going in there for any illegal reasons was a huge relief to her.


	13. Temptation

The Thin White Duke splashed some cold water onto his face, leaning over the basin with a deep, heavy sigh. A stall opened and the man who had touched his shoulder earlier emerged, washing his hands as if he'd actually been to the toilet. Of course the Duke knew he hadn't but wasn't in the mood for conversation right now.  
  
  
"I heard about Sam," the man said quietly, tossing something onto the counter, "you can pay me later. _For Sammy._.. "  
  
  
He left and the Thin White Duke stared long and hard at the little plastic bag, it was cocaine. He snatched it up and put it into his pocket, lowering his head sadly for the loss he was trying hard not to admit.  
  
  
" _Damn_ you, Sammy!" he spat angrily, then he lowered his voice, "it's all _my_ fault... "  
  
  
*  
  
  
Liana noticed the man from before, the one who had touched the Duke's left shoulder. He was coming out of the men's room and she tensed up, she felt guilty for assuming the worst and scolded herself silently. The Thin White Duke emerged moments later, joining Liana at the table again. He looked despondent, so she didn't try to talk to him for a while.  
  
  
"It's my fault," he finally spoke, "Sam's gone and it's all my fault!"  Liana shook her head.  
  
  
"No," she told him gently, "don't say that."  
  
  
"It's true, isn't it?" demanded the Duke, "I turned him down, he wasn't asking for much."  
  
  
"You know what he was like," Liana tried again, "he'd have done it eventually."  
  
  
"I do know what he was like," replied the Duke, "that makes it worse because I should have known better!"  
  
  
Liana felt badly for him, it was horrible enough going through drug withdrawals but to have a death on his conscience on top it all? It must be barely tolerable for him.  
  
  
"There's nothing you could have done," she reassured him. But he didn't seem to want to hear it, he was glaring down at the floor and then he lit up a cigarette. Liana sighed, perhaps they could talk about it later when they were at home and not out in public.

"He was my friend," the Duke said quietly, "I should have been watching out for him."  Liana caught his eye and held his gaze.  
  
  
"Now you know why I won't let you destroy yourself," she told him firmly, putting things into a painful perspective for him, "how do you think I would feel if you ended up dead from that stuff?"  He didn't seem to be taking it the way she'd planned.  
  
  
"It's all about _you_ , isn't it?" he growled, agitated.  
  
  
Liana sat back and fell silent, it _had_ come out sounding that way, hadn't it?   He stood up and Liana eyed him warily, getting the vibe that he was ready to get out of there and slowly rising to her feet.  He noticed that she had got up and his shoulders relaxed slightly, tonight had been a partial success but wasn't without it's dramas.  
  
  
*  
  
  
Once they were back at Liana's home, they sat together on the sofa and she watched him take something out of his pocket. She stared at him, crestfallen as he dropped the plastic bag onto the coffee table for her to see.  
  
  
She felt betrayed.  
  
  
"I _trusted_ you," her breath caught in her throat.  
  
  
"I didn't buy this," he told her.  
  
  
"Oh _sure!_ " her voice was shaking now, "you just found it, right?"  He frowned at her.  
  
  
"Liana, I wasn't planning to... " he started.  
  
  
"Don't!" Liana stood up, "I don't want to hear it, Duke!"  He stared up at her with those strange eyes of his.  
  
  
"Liana! I did _not_ buy it!" he insisted.  
  
  
"So, what... You got it for free?" she demanded.  
  
  
"No," replied the Duke, "I have to pay him later, but Liana... I didn't plan to use it, I swear."  Liana shook her head, turning away from him in disbelief.  
  
  
"Do you _hear_ yourself?" she asked him, "don't lie to me... "  
  
  
"I'm not!" he stood up, "why would I show it to you at all? If I was going to use it, don't you think I'd be in the bathroom right now?"  Liana didn't know what to think, she turned around and a single tear slid down her cheek.  
  
  
"I want to believe you," she told him, "I really do... "   He was silent, he knew it looked bad but he also knew he was innocent and it agitated him that she wasn't listening to him.  
  
  
"But you don't," he concluded. She said nothing.  
  
  
"Fuck it then," he scooped up the bag and headed for the bathroom. If she wasn't going to believe him and if she was going to be angry at him for something, then he might as well give her a reason to be upset. At least then he could feel good again. He reached for the door handle.  
  
  
_So good_...  
  
  
_Yesss_...  
  
  
He hesitated as the door swung open, pausing in silence to listen to Liana's soft sobbing in the living room. Slowly, he turned towards the direction of the sound and walked back to the living room doorway. Liana got up off the sofa and pushed past him, running into the bedroom and closing the door.  
  
  
He could still hear her crying.  
  
  
The Thin White Duke tossed the little bag onto the coffee table and sat down on an armchair, lowering his head into his hands with a heavy sigh.  
  
  
*  
  
Liana calmed down and dried her tears, slowly exiting the bedroom and walking back into the living room. She sat down across from him, watching calmly as he lifted his head to look at her curiously. Their eyes met, then they both glanced down at the coffee table. Liana reached hesitantly for the little bag, intent on getting rid of it.  
  
  
"Don't," he said quietly, his tone urgent. Liana paused, their eyes meeting once more.  
  
  
"I have to flush it," she explained, "you want me to believe you, right?"  He was quiet, but his lack of response was encouraging because he did not argue.  
  
  
"I don't understand why it's important for me to believe you," Liana said softly, "it doesn't change anything, the drugs are still here in my home."  
  
  
"It matters to me," replied the Thin White Duke. He took a deep breath.  
  
  
"Liana... the cravings... " he winced and she closed her fingers tightly around the little bag, "they're so strong... "  
  
  
"You are stronger," Liana told him firmly. He lowered his gaze.  
  
  
"I feel so weak," he admitted, "how can you say such things? Look at me, I'm a wreck!"  
  
  
"You're not a wreck," Liana insisted, "you were a wreck before, you just didn't realize it."  He shook his head, no.  
  
  
"Liana, I'm so tired," he told her, "I feel sick, my heart feels so heavy... It's depressing. I don't enjoy feeling this way at all."  
  
  
"It has to get worse before it can get better," Liana spoke gently now, "please, stick with it... for me?"  He leaned back, regarding her suspiciously. She kept telling him that he'd been sick on the drugs, but when he took them he felt so incredible and so alive. Without them, he was lower than low and just getting out of bed in the morning was suddenly hard. He lacked motivation, fatigue claimed him more than once a day and worst of all; his sex drive was almost non existent now. He remembered fucking on average sometimes 5 times a day, maybe more...  
  
  
At the moment, sex was definitely the last thing on his mind and it bothered him a great deal.  
  
  
"What's so great about this shit?" Liana waved it at him, "it fucks you up!"   He watched it like a hawk.  
  
  
"It makes me happy!" he became agitated and restless again, standing up to pace before seating himself again, "the feeling of utter joy and _oohh_... " His eyes closed for a moment.  "The _sex_ , Liana," he continued, "the sex is _incredible_... "  
  
  
Liana became turned on by his admission of feeling aroused when he used cocaine but she had to keep her mind on track.  
  
  
"You don't need drugs to find happiness in life," she said, pulling the little bag closer to herself, "and in time you will discover that sex can be just as amazing without coke."   He looked frustrated.  
  
  
"You're trying to poison my mind!" he accused her, paranoia setting in again.  
  
  
"This!" Liana held up the bag, " _this_ is poison! Not my words!"  
  
  
"Bullshit!" he got to his feet again, "I felt so fucking good before we met... Now I feel like death warmed up! You keep telling me you're trying to help me but I often wonder... "  He narrowed his eyes at her. Liana got to her feet, meeting him face to face.  
  
  
"I made you a promise," she said to him, her gaze firm, "I'm not giving up on you."  She touched his face, but he jerked away and walked to the window; staring out of it like he sometimes did when he wasn't interested in talking.  Liana took the cocaine away from the living room, but what should she do with it now?  She heard him light up a cigarette, that wasn't a very healthy habit either but one thing at a time...


	14. Testing My Patience

Hours later she found the Thin White Duke sleeping on the sofa, it looked like he had fought to stay awake because his hands were close to his face as though he'd been rubbing his eyes. Liana couldn't help the surge of affection that suddenly swept over her, why did he have to say such awful things?  
  
  
She needed a break, but she felt guilty because _he_ wasn't going to get a break for a long time. Withdrawals could linger on for several months, how could she justify having a rest when he was going through such terrible pain?  
  
  
She reached into his pocket and unholstered his gun, taking it out carefully to examine it. She'd never held a gun before, it felt heavy and she wondered if it was loaded at all?  Liana didn't want him to hurt himself with it, depression was a fickle thing and often nobody could tell it was consuming someone until they committed suicide.  
  
  
She looked at him again and startled, she hadn't expected him to be watching her.  
  
  
"Hey," she managed a small smile.  
  
  
"Do you like it?" he asked her, looking at the gun and sitting up.  
  
  
"It's kind of scary," Liana replied, "is it loaded?"  She handed it back to him and he turned it over in his hands.  
  
  
"No," he answered calmly and she relaxed. He casually aimed the gun at her and readied it to fire, Liana tensed up again and took a step back.  
  
  
"Do you believe me?" he asked her gently. Liana wasn't sure, would he shoot her?  
  
  
"Duke, don't... " she backed away again and he squeezed the trigger. Liana shut her eyes tight and she heard a click, opening one eye shortly after to find him smirking at her.  
  
  
"Bang," he teased her, looking slightly amused.  
  
  
"That's not funny!" Liana scolded him. He shrugged and put it away, looking back at her as if he'd done nothing wrong.  
  
  
"What do you use it for anyway?" she asked him, her heart still leaping into her throat, "if you don't keep it loaded?"  He paused for a moment and then leaned back into the sofa, a dark expression crossing his features.  
  
  
"It's an interesting sex toy," he told her.  
  
  
"Eww," Liana grimaced.  
  
  
"Relax, it's clean," he replied, "although it is more fun with blanks in."  
  
  
"Just stop," Liana put her hands up, "you want to go to bed now?"  
  
  
He stood slowly and nodded, his eyes half closed now as he followed her into the bedroom. He took off his clothes, Liana had gotten used to his preference to sleep either with pants only or nothing at all on and said nothing in protest as he slipped in under the covers. She put on her nightgown, climbing in beside him and turning off the lamp. She listened to him fall asleep and closed her eyes, thank goodness he didn't snore or she'd never get any rest.  
  
  
During the night he thrashed once or twice, Liana made up her mind to call one of her friends tomorrow. She needed to take a break away from this, or she was going to get more frazzled and be unable to remain calm. Sooner or later that was going to make her explode at him and ruin everything, he could end up more addicted to cocaine than ever before.


	15. I Need A Break, Steph!

In the morning, Liana woke to find him completely entangled in the blankets. It looked funny but she smiled sadly because it was the result of more nightmares.  She got out of bed and closed the door, fixing up some breakfast and picking up the phone. She called her friend Steph, whom Liana knew wasn't into drugs anymore and could be trusted. Steph agreed to come over and was soon at the front door, Liana smiled to her in greeting.  
  
  
"Thank you so much for agreeing to do this," Liana sighed, "it's such a relief."  
  
  
"Hey, no problem," Steph walked inside, "we went through a similar thing with my brother a few years back. You take your little hiatus, you're gonna need it pretty soon."  Liana didn't like the sound of that.  
  
  
"So can I see him?" asked Steph, "your new friend, I mean. Where is he? What's his name?"  Liana led her to the bedroom and quietly opened the door, Steph looked in and gasped; her hands flew to her mouth as her eyes bulged wide open.  
  
  
" _Damn_ , girl!" she backed away in disbelief, "you got the _Thin White Duke_ crashing??  Are you _trying_ to get yourself dead??"  
  
  
"He won't hurt me," Liana defended him, "take it easy."  
  
  
"Oh I know _he_ won't hurt you," Steph agreed, "it's the _others_ I'm more worried about."  
  
  
"Others?" asked Liana with a frown, "what others?"  
  
  
"First of all," Steph pointed at her, "you've made some regular customers very disgruntled. Second of all, did you ever think about his dealers? Stopping someone from doing drugs is like stealing money from them! They're gonna be hatin' on you something _bad!_ "  Liana felt sick.  
  
  
"You mean the people who got him hooked in the first place?" she asked, worried.  
  
  
"The very same," nodded Steph, "listen, I'll babysit for ya just this once, but after that you can _count me out!_ I like my body parts to stay right where they are!"   Liana swallowed dryly, she hadn't thought about _any_ of that!  
  
  
"I'll only be a day or two," she said, her voice shaking slightly.  
  
  
"Make it three," Steph told her, "he's gonna be worse by the time you get back, make sure you get plenty of sleep."  Liana nodded, looking in at the seemingly peaceful Thin White Duke.  
  
  
"It's the only time he looks like he's okay," Liana said.  Steph followed her gaze.  
  
  
"He's always damn fine lookin'," she remarked,  "real easy on the eyes... Now off you go and don't worry about a thing. I'll take real good care of him for you."  
  
  
Liana nodded and picked up her small overnight bag, then she left and hoped for the best.


	16. I Know You...

Steph sat down to watch some television, she heard movement and then the shower running. When the Thin White Duke emerged, looking perfectly immaculate as always, he sat down to eat the breakfast that Liana had left for him. Steph got up and walked out into the kitchen, he dropped his fork and stood, backing away from her.  
  
  
"Relax gorgeous," Steph smiled at him, "it's me."  He studied her for a moment, then relaxed and sat back down again.  
  
  
"Where's Liana?" he asked.  
  
  
"She ran away," replied Steph.  He frowned.  
  
  
"Why?" he looked puzzled.  
  
  
"Apparently you're crashing real hard," Steph raised a brow, "is it true? You're coming off the crack?"  
  
  
"And everything else," he nodded, "will she come back?"  
  
  
"Yeah," Steph sat at the table with him, "she just needs a break from your grumpy ass."  
  
  
"Fuck you, Steph," grumbled the Thin White Duke. Steph beamed at him.  
  
  
"Anytime," she winked, "anyplace. Same old Duke."  She chuckled and he finished his breakfast while she watched in amazement.  
  
  
"I've only ever seen you eat peppers and drink milk," Steph pointed out, "what's the deal with all this other stuff you're chowin' down on now?"  He shrugged, watching her as she picked up a fork and tried to take some but he blocked her with his own fork and frowned.  
  
  
"Suddenly I'm just really hungry," he replied, "and Liana is a _fantastic_ cook, I'd share but... I don't want to."  
  
  
"Asshole," Steph swore at him.  
  
  
He smirked at her and she smiled back, _same old Duke_...


	17. I Need Something

Of course, the good mood did not last; it never did and the time soon came for Steph to reach into herself for a handful of patience. It was around noon and he was getting hungry, his agitation and restlessness were high. He tried smoking a cigarette, but it wasn't helping anymore and Steph was making lunch in the kitchen. He thought about Liana, his eyes closed and a wave of calm washed over him momentarily. In the kitchen, Steph dropped a plate and it smashed onto the floor. It jolted the Thin White Duke and his eyes snapped open, a sudden glint of intent in his eyes.  
  
  
He moved to the bedroom and closed the door, checking both night stands. He pulled open every drawer, checked under the pillows and paused to glance around the room.  
  
  
_Where had she hidden his coke?_  
  
  
His gaze fell upon the jacket which hung on a hook behind the door, he quickly went over and searched the pockets. Nothing. Had she really flushed it?  He ran the fingers of both his hands through his hair, taking a deep yet shaky breath and trying to calm his jitters down. Steph finished making the lunch, she wasn't super great at cooking or anything so she made soup and sandwiches. She set the table up and looked around, but she couldn't see where the Thin White Duke had got to.  
  
  
"Lunch!" she called, hoping for the best. She checked a few rooms and found him sitting on the edge of the bed, his fingers gripping the sheets and his face screwed up in apparent pain.  
  
  
  
"Hey," she spoke softly, "deep breaths, alright?"  He lowered his head, turning away from her.  Steph walked in and carefully sat beside him, but he didn't acknowledge her.  
  
  
"Do you remember when we first met?" she asked him, trying to take his mind off the cravings that had gripped him like a vice.  
  
  
"You were shy," he responded quietly. Steph chuckled, she certainly wasn't that girl anymore.  
  
  
"Do you remember _fucking me?_ " she whispered into his ear, trailing her fingers up his arm. He stood up and she put her hands into her lap, watching him pace the room with his hands up behind his head in agitation.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Lunch is ready," she told him.  
  
  
"I need _something_ ," he insisted, "anything, Steph. You've got to have something... "  
  
  
"Sorry darlin'," Steph looked worried, "I don't do that shit anymore."  He looked at her curiously, his breathing was rapid and Steph started to relent.  
  
  
"I could call someone," she told him, "why don't you go have something to eat and I'll find out what I can."  He was silent for a time, then he left the room and Steph sighed heavily.  
  
  
_Who was she going to call??_  
  
  
She had dropped contact with just about everyone she knew who did drugs, because they would tempt her to get back on them again. She got up and joined the Thin White Duke at the table, perhaps she could talk him out of the discomfort.  
  
  
"My life is so much better without the drugs," she informed him, "I know I didn't really get into them a great deal but I promise you it'll get better."  He didn't answer, so she continued.  
  
  
"My brother went through the same thing you're going through," she said, "he was awful but he came through it alright. He wasn't as heavy a user as you, though... "   And for this, she worried about him that little bit extra. Steph frowned when he pushed the bowl away, he hadn't finished the soup and he didn't even look at the sandwiches.  
  
  
"Is it too hot?" she asked him.  
  
  
"I'm going for a walk," he stood up, "fresh air and all that."  
  
  
"Oh, I'll go with you!" Steph said brightly, standing.  
  
  
"What for?" asked the Duke.  
  
  
"I'm supposed to be here for you," Steph replied.  
  
  
"You mean you want to keep an eye on me," he said stiffly, "don't you trust me?"  
  
  
  
  
  
"Not a bit," Steph pointed at him, "you are in no fit state to just go for a walk, you'll collapse on the sidewalk!"


	18. I Can't Do This Anymore

He walked away from her and into the kitchen for a glass of water, he opened the drawers curiously because he hadn't been in the kitchen for longer than the time it took him to drink. He paused as he opened the third drawer, his gaze falling upon the little bag of cocaine. So she _hadn't_ flushed it after all...  
  
  
He reached in and picked it up, shoved it into his pocket and closed the drawer. He had a glass of water, then went to the bathroom and locked himself in. Taking out the little bag, he instantly got to work setting up a line but he hesitated when he was finished. Looking at the white powder line, remembering how the rush made him feel. He knew the effects didn't last very long, he'd be high for a few minutes and have to do another line. It'd never stop, he sighed heavily but it looked so alluring.... Maybe just one line, what harm could it do?  It'd take the edge off his cravings, right?  
  
  
Make him feel good again, instead of nauseated and tired. He leaned against the wall, just staring mutely at the coke. For reasons he didn't understand, he unlocked the door and slumped to the floor with his head in his hands. It was right there within reach, he could just take it and run. _So why did he stay?_  
  
  
"Duke?" Steph gently pushed the door open and peered inside, she noticed the coke right away and looked down at him. He obviously hadn't used any, she felt quite proud of him.  
  
  
"Will you come out?" she asked softly.  
  
  
"I can't," he spoke in a low warning tone that unnerved her. He was breathing unevenly, she knew he wanted that cocaine badly but why was he on the floor instead?  The Thin White Duke was torn, he had to have the coke but he knew he shouldn't touch it.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"If you come with me," Steph tried again, "I know someone, she usually keeps meth... want some of that?"  
  
  
His gaze lifted to hers and she gave him an encouraging smile, the effects would last longer so he wouldn't need to take it as often and she could clean up the bathroom before Liana got back. He slowly got to his feet, she relaxed for a moment but then he lunged towards the counter and she grabbed his waist instinctively. They struggled briefly and in the struggle, the coke was scattered all over the floor and ruined. They both stood, staring down at the mess and Steph's heart began to pound in her chest.  
  
  
"No... NO!" he fell to his knees. Steph knelt down and put her arms around him, but he pushed her off and stood up; exiting the bathroom.  
  
  
"Duke, wait!" Steph called after him, running to catch up, "where are you going?"  
  
  
"I can't do this!" he turned on his heel and she almost ran into him.  
  
  
"If you walk out that door now," she told him, "you'll ruin all chances of ever getting off that stuff."  He stared at her, his icy blue eyes seeming to gaze into her very soul.  
  
  
"If I stay," he bargained, "you said someone had crank?"   Steph nodded, feeling guilty for offering him the crystal meth in the first place.  
  
  
"Alright," he agreed, "but make it quick."  
  
  
He walked to the sitting room, which was full of bookshelves and sank into an armchair to wait. Steph leaned in the doorway, watching him drift into a fitful sleep. He wouldn't be sleeping very well at all, coming off crack was a nightmare inducing experience. She left the sitting room and picked up the phone, knowing she was going to regret this but if she didn't do it; he'd walk out and never come back...  
  
  
She had no other choice, she dialed the number and waited for a response.


	19. Don't Shoot

The Thin White Duke opened his eyes a while later, his hands were like claws as he dug his fingernails into the arms of the chair he was seated in.  
  
  
"Steph!" he called out.  She appeared in the doorway, looking nervously at him.  His eyes searched hers.  
  
  
"Did you get some?" he asked her. Steph shook her head.  
  
  
"They didn't answer the phone," she explained.  
  
  
  
  
  
"You really should have walked then," he growled, taking out his pistol. Steph gasped, her eyes wide and she backed away but he pointed it at her and she froze.  
  
  
"Don't shoot!" she cried fearfully, "I'll go, I swear!"  He calmly pointed the gun down to her stomach, then back up to her head and slowly stood up. Steph was shaking badly, in fear of her life and tears began to stream down her cheeks as he approached her.  
  
  
"I can't take it much longer," he spoke quietly, in a tone of voice that sounded very much like he'd given up, "make. Another. Call."  He touched the tip of the gun to her cheek, bringing his face so close to her own that she could feel his ragged breathing in her ear. Steph nodded quickly, desperate to get away from the deadly weapon but he hadn't moved to allow her an escape route.  
  
  
"Please," Steph's voice was high pitched but very quiet as she was terrified, "you're better than this."  
  
  
She felt his forehead rest upon her shoulder, her hand shakily reached up and gently took the gun from him. Dropping the weapon onto the armchair, Steph put her arms hesitantly around her friend. She hadn't done anything with him for months but she still knew him well enough to determine when touching him would be acceptable. She frowned, he felt so much thinner than she remembered and it frightened her but it also steeled her own resolve to not give up on him. She took a deep, shaky breath; she'd come so close to failing both him and Liana it was scary.  
  
  
But her ordeal was not over yet, for as soon as he pulled away from her he looked at her expectantly. Steph knew he was waiting for her to call the friend, so he could take something to help him.  
  
  
"I can't do it," she whispered, "please don't make me."  
  
  
She backed away when his eyes turned to a blazing fiery glare, then she hurried to the living room and sat down with her hands over her ears as he began to take out his anger on the room. Steph grabbed the phone, trying to ignore his shouting and called a number; trembling. She thought she could handle this, but it was too much for her. His addiction was so strong, stronger than she'd ever encountered.


	20. Let's Get High

A while later, the noise had stopped and there was suddenly a knock at the door. Steph hurried over to open it and her friend Lindy walked in, looking around curiously.  
  
  
"I've got the crystal meth," Lindy told her, "you said someone was crashing?"   Steph nodded, leading her towards the sitting room.  
  
  
"He's gone quiet," Steph explained, "he may have passed out, I'm not sure."  
  
  
The sitting room was a mess, but nothing was broken. Lindy gasped, the same way Steph had when she realized who it was. He was sort of cringing in the corner, holding his arm as if it hurt. Steph saw blood and panicked, had he hurt himself on purpose?   Lindy was already approaching him, slowly.  
  
  
"Be careful!" Steph hissed. Lindy knelt down beside the Thin White Duke, he looked at her uncertainly.  
  
  
"There's a lot of people looking for you," she told him gently, taking note of the gun holstered in his vest pocket, "I've brought you a little something to cheer you up."  She showed him the meth and his gaze fell upon it.  
  
  
"Come back with me," Lindy told him, "I've got loads more shit to really fuck you up... "  
  
  
"Lindy!" Steph was shocked at her friend, "that's _not_ what we talked about!"  Lindy spun around.  
  
  
"Can't you see he's a _mess?!_ " she demanded, "what kind of _cruel bitch_ do you take me for?? How dare you force this _cold turkey_ crap on him?!"  
  
  
"Lindy, don't take him out of this house!" Steph insisted, "just give him the meth and _get out!_ "   Lindy turned back to the Thin White Duke, his hand was cut but not too badly.  
  
  
"Come on baby," she cooed into his ear, "let's go and get messed up together... "  She took his arm and he stood slowly.  
  
  
"That's it," Lindy encouraged him, "come on... "   Steph blocked the doorway, wishing she had called Liana instead of Lindy now.  
  
  
"I might have known you were working for those scumbags who sell to him!" Steph accused her.  
  
  
"Hey, I'd rather _not_ have both my legs broken, alright?!" Lindy shouted back.  
  
  
"You don't _have to_ tell them you saw him!" Steph fumed. Just then, the front door opened and closed loudly. Both women froze to the spot, eyes wide.  
  
  
"Were you followed?" whispered Steph. Lindy shook her head, but looked unsure.  
  
  
"Shit!" Lindy hissed, " _what do we do!?_ "  
  
  
"Lock the front door," suggested the Thin White Duke, "then they won't get in."  Lindy and Steph looked at him, then at each other.  
  
  
"He is so _not okay_ right now," Steph worried, "Duke, did you hit your head on something?"  He shrugged, looking away and not answering the question.  
  
  
"I'll hide him," said Lindy, "you get rid of them."  
  
  
"What? No!" Steph argued, " _I'll_ hide him and _you_ get rid of them!"  
  
  
"If we don't hurry they'll find us all!" Lindy spoke urgently.  
  
  
"We'll both hide him," Steph compromised, "then we both get rid of them."  
  
  
"Alright," Lindy agreed, "is there somewhere we can put him?"  
  
  
"The bedroom," said Steph, "there's a kind of walk-in closet."  They led him to the bedroom quickly and quietly, pulled open the closet door and pushed him inside.  
  
  
"Wait here," said Steph, "and be extra quiet, okay?"  
  
  
He didn't answer, but he did sit down and made no noise when the door was closed.


	21. Intruders

Lindy and Steph then walked out into the living room, their hearts hammering and their minds racing with thoughts of what they were going to say. There were three men standing around, as if they were waiting in a lobby to be tended to. They turned when the two women walked in, the tension mounted.  
  
  
"So sorry to barge in, ladies," said the biggest man, "the name's Big Justin. These are my colleagues, Nick and Mick."  
  
  
Justin was a burly man, probably more accustomed to desk jobs rather than actual footwork. Nick was slender with blond hair and blue eyes. Mick had dark hair and green eyes and was medium build.  
  
  
"What do you want?" asked Steph, "before I call the cops."  
  
  
"Now take it easy," said Justin, "we're just looking for a good friend of ours, he's been missing for a while."  
  
  
"Well there's nobody here but us," Lindy told them, "what makes you think anyone's here?"  
  
  
"Word is," said Mick, an Irish accent audible now that he spoke, "he was last seen getting into a car that pulled in here."  Steph felt her stomach flip flop, had Liana taken the Thin White Duke _outside??_  
  
  
"Well he's obviously long gone," said Lindy.  
  
  
"She's right, Big J," said Nick, who seemed a little timid and nervous about the whole thing, "you know the Duke, in and out. Never could sit still."  Justin looked thoughtful for a moment, then he nodded.  
  
  
"Alright," he said quietly, "tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna send these boys to take a look about the place, then we'll go and never bother you lovely ladies again. Deal?"   Steph's body shook as Lindy nodded.  
  
  
"Alright," said Lindy, "you got a deal."  
  
  
"You heard the lady," said Justin, "go see if you can find our elusive friend."  
  
  
The two men nodded and separated to search the house, Lindy stayed with Justin while Steph tried to be casual about watching the two other men wherever they went. Mick went up the hall to search the bathroom and sitting room areas, while Nick checked the rest of the house. Mick came back first, whispering into Justin's ear.  
  
  
"Interesting," said Justin, "seems you've got cocaine all over your bathroom floor and the sitting room has been turned over. Is there something going on here?"  
  
  
"Wild party," Lindy said quickly, "we were just cleaning up before you broke in."  
  
  
"The door was not locked," said Justin, "there was no breaking in."  
  
  
Steph leaned against the bedroom doorway as Nick walked inside, her heart in her throat as he checked under the bed and approached the closet. She held her breath when he pulled the closet doors open, his gaze falling upon the Thin White Duke. Nick looked a little surprised, glancing at Steph and then back at the Duke.  
  
  
"Uhm... " Nick seemed uncertain.  
  
  
"Nick, please," Steph whispered, "I'm begging you... "   The Thin White Duke casually looked up at the other man.  
  
  
"I know you," said the Duke, "your Sammy's brother... "  
  
  
Steph didn't know who Sammy was, but she hoped for the best. Nick closed the doors and quickly left the bedroom, Steph following after him with perspiration trickling down her forehead. Nick stood beside Justin, who looked at him and waited for his report.  
  
  
"He's uhm... He's not here, Boss," Nick said quickly. Justin looked at him silently for a moment and Steph tensed up.  
  
  
"Then I owe these two ladies an apology," Justin finally spoke, looking at Steph and Lindy, "we'll see ourselves out."  
  
  
Justin and Mick left the house but Nick lingered by the front door for a minute, looking at Steph and Lindy nervously.  
  
  
"Tell the Duke I've paid my debt," he spoke in a hushed tone, then he hurried off to catch up with the others. Lindy closed the door and locked it up tight, then turned to Steph.  
  
  
"What was that all about?" Lindy asked her.  
  
  
"He found the Thin White Duke," Steph explained, "they knew each other, Nick saw him and didn't say anything to Justin."  
  
  
"I wonder what sort of debt the Duke had owing to him?" Lindy was curious to know.  
  
  
"I'm just glad it's over," replied Steph.  
  
  
"For now," Lindy reminded her, "they're not going to give up just like that."  
  
  
"I wish Liana was here," Steph said suddenly, "I hate to admit it, but he needs _her_. Not me. I'm useless to him."  
  
  
"I'm sorry about what I did before," Lindy apologized, "and you're not useless, but I think maybe we should get your friend back here."  
  
  
Steph nodded, reluctantly picking up the phone once more to call Liana.


	22. Don't Mess With Me

Steph and Lindy waited for Liana to return, watching the windows and then Lindy frowned.  
  
  
"Should we get him out of the closet now?" she suddenly asked.  
  
  
"Leave him be," Steph shook her head, "while he's quiet."  
  
  
"But he could have a concussion," Lindy argued. There was a loud knocking on the door that made them both jump, Steph answered it and Liana burst into the house.  
  
  
"What's happened?!" she cried, "where is he?! Is he hurt?!"  
  
  
"He's in the bedroom," said Steph and Liana rushed off before she could utter another word. Lindy and Steph followed her, watching from the doorway. Liana knelt down and looked him over, worriedly.  
  
  
"Oh I should never have left!" she sniffled, "not even for a day!"  
  
  
Steph felt terrible, Liana had barely been gone for the morning and she'd had to come back already. Liana took the Thin White Duke to the kitchen, putting a bandage on his cut hand and then she sat him on the sofa. He wasn't talking, so she got a cold compress and held it to the back of his head gently. His eyes closed, he was not in a good way. Steph fidgeted and sighed heavily, she felt like it was her fault.  
  
  
"Liana, I'm so sorry," Steph apologized.  Liana glanced over at Lindy.  
  
  
"Get her out of my house!" Liana spoke angrily.  Lindy needed no further prompts and she quickly left, Steph was about to shut the door when Justin and Mick barged past her.  
  
  
"Liana, watch out!" Steph shouted. Liana turned to see the two men, who advanced on the Thin White Duke with smirks on their faces.  
  
  
"I thought I recognized that car," grinned Justin, "well spotted, Mick."  
  
  
"Steph, call the cops!" Liana instructed, pulling the gun from the Duke's vest, "hurry!"   Mick raised his hands and took a step back, but Justin kept grinning.  
  
  
"Take it easy, Mick," he said calmly, "it ain't loaded, get him!"  
  
  
Mick looked unsure, but he moved towards the sofa again anyway and Liana screamed at him. Suddenly, the Thin White Duke's eyes snapped open and in one fluid motion, he grabbed the gun from Liana and shot Mick dead. Justin's grin faded slowly, as Mick lay face down and began to bleed into the carpet. Slowly, Justin raised his hands into the air and Steph made the call.  
  
  
"I'll make you a deal," Justin tried.  
  
  
"No deals," Liana frowned at him, "I never trust dealers."  
  
  
"Then you really shouldn't have the Thin White Duke in your home, lady," said Justin.  
  
  
"You just leave him alone, creep," Liana retorted, "he's never doing drugs again... and neither are you."  
  
  
Justin pursed his lips, desperate to escape before the police arrived, he watched the Duke carefully for an opportunity. A moment later, Nick walked into the house and they all glanced up at him. Justin lunged at the Duke and tried to wrestle the gun from his hand.  
  
  
"Nick!" Justin shouted, as they rolled onto the floor, "help me!"  Nick hurried over to the struggling pair, trying to grab hold of the gun but it wasn't easy.  
  
  
"Knock him out!" Justin instructed, "idiot!"  
  
  
Nick took a step back, looking around and grabbing a lamp. He brought it down hard and Liana screamed, Steph put her hands over her mouth in shock.  Justin rolled over, groaned and passed out. Nick stood back, breathing heavily as he reached down and offered the Thin White Duke his hand. The Duke accepted it and he stood up, with a bit of help from Nick.  
  
  
"Alright then?" asked Nick.  
  
  
"Yes," replied the Duke, though he felt dizzy, "thanks... "  
  
  
"That was for Sam," said Nick.  
  
  
"What do you mean?" asked the Duke.  
  
  
  
  
  
"It was Justin," Nick admitted, "Sammy didn't kill himself, Duke. He was going on the straight and narrow right after he left from talking with you, Justin didn't wanna lose a customer, so... "  
  
  
Liana jumped as the Duke turned and put a bullet in Justin's head without hesitation.


	23. Leave Him Be

Nick's eyes gleamed with unfallen tears, but Steph was the one to speak next.  
  
  
"You guys need to get out of here for a while," she told Nick and Duke, "the police will be here any second!"  
  
  
"Come with me," said Nick, "I know a place."  
  
  
"Wait, how can we trust you to bring him back?" asked Liana.  
  
  
"You can't," said Nick, "but you're gonna have to." He took the Thin White Duke by the arm and led him outside, leaving Steph and Liana to worry and wait for the police.  
  
  
"I have a really bad feeling about this," said Steph. Liana sat down and tried not to cry.  
  
  
"What other choice did we have?" she sniffled.  
  
  
Steph sat down and put her arm around Liana's shoulders, trying to comfort her but she couldn't shake that nagging feeling in the back of her mind. What if Nick _didn't_ bring back the Thin White Duke at all?  
  
  
"Just stay calm," Steph told Liana, "we have to trust him."  Liana closed her eyes.  
  
  
"I don't know what I'd do if I lost him," she said softly, "why did I ever leave?"  
  
  
"Don't blame yourself," said Steph, "if anyone's to blame, it's me."  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
"It's not much but it's home," Nick said, opening the door. The Thin White Duke walked in and Nick shut the door, it was dark and cool inside.  
  
  
"You want a drink?" asked Nick.  
  
  
"No," replied the Duke, "I'm... I'm so tired... "  He wavered and Nick grabbed him before he fell.  
  
  
"Come in here," Nick led him to the bed, "get some rest, we'll go back in the morning."  
  
  
Duke lay down and closed his eyes, drifting unconscious. Nick gently closed the bedroom door and picked up his phone in the living room.  
  
  
"It's me," he said quietly, "I've got him."  
  
  
***  
  
  
That evening, Nick answered the door and a man walked in.  
  
  
"Where is he?" asked the man.  
  
  
"Sleeping," replied Nick.  
  
  
"What?" frowned the man, " _he_ doesn't _sleep_... "  
  
  
"That's what I thought," said Nick, "but he's been out for hours."  
  
  
"Odd," the man looked into the bedroom, "why is he on the floor?"  Nick peered into the room.  
  
  
"Dunno," he shrugged, "bad dream?"  They shut the door and went to sit in the living room to talk.  
  
  
"I called you as soon as I had him here, Will," said Nick, "what took you so long?"  
  
  
"I am a very busy man," replied Will.  
  
  
"And I owe you some money," came a half asleep voice from the doorway. Nick and Will turned and stood up, the Thin White Duke was rubbing the sleep from his eyes and yawning.  
  
  
"He's so adorable," smiled Nick. Will elbowed him and Nick stopped smiling, clearing his throat.  
  
  
"It's all good, Duke," said Will, "in your own time, but... Where've you been?"  Duke handed a small wad of cash to Will, who stuffed it into his pocket.  
  
  
"Actually," replied the Duke, "I'm cleaning up my act."  Will lifted a brow.  
  
  
"Big Justin ain't gonna be too pleased about that," said Will.  
  
  
"He knows," replied Nick, "I'll fill you in later."  
  
  
"I'm going back to Liana's," said the Duke.  
  
  
"You should wait until tomorrow," Nick cautioned him. The Thin White Duke sat on the sofa, lit up a cigarette and sighed heavily.  
  
  
"Fine," he grumbled, "but you'd better be a decent cook."  Will produced a little bag of cocaine, took one step towards the sofa and Nick put himself between them.  
  
  
"Leave him," said Nick firmly, "you've been after Justin's racket for years, right? Well... Justin's dead. So go and take over, but leave this one alone."  Will looked surprised to hear the news, but it was an inside tip that would give him a head start advantage on taking Justin's place so he quickly took his leave.


	24. Aspirin?

Nick walked over to the Thin White Duke and sat beside him on the sofa, looking at him curiously.  
  
  
"You okay?" asked Nick.  
  
  
"I have a really bad headache," replied Duke, "do you have an aspirin?"  
  
  
"I think so," Nick frowned thoughtfully, "try the cabinet in the bathroom."  Duke got up and went into the bathroom, opened the cabinet and located the bottle labeled 'aspirin'. He took it to the kitchen and downed two of them with a glass of water, then he hesitated and Nick walked in.  
  
  
"What's wrong?" asked Nick.  
  
  
"I don't think that was aspirin," replied the Duke, his eyes closing as his heart sped up.  
  
  
"Oh, _fuck!_ " Nick slapped his own forehead, "I forgot, I keep my stash in the aspirin bottle! Sorry, man. I _totally_ spaced... "  
  
  
Nick grabbed the Duke's arm and led him outside, got him into the car and drove to Liana's. Luckily, the police had been and gone. For a murder scene, it was over with pretty fast but then it _was_ a self defense case against _known_ drug dealers...  
  
  
"Just let me do the talking," Nick told the Duke, but he got no reply.  
  
  
**  
  
  
Steph was asleep on the sofa when there came a knock at the front door, she startled awake and her heart began to race in a panic. Liana got out of bed and they met in the hallway, then answered the door cautiously together.  
  
  
"Nick?" Liana was certainly not expecting him tonight, "what're you doing here?"  
  
  
"Uhm, well... You see," Nick explained, "I gave the Duke an aspirin, only it wasn't aspirin... "  Liana frowned and Nick rubbed the back of his neck nervously.  
  
  
"Is he in the car?" asked Steph.  
  
  
"Yeah," Nick looked back at the vehicle, "is it safe to bring him back in?"  
  
  
"Should be," said Liana, "let's get him inside and see what he's done."  Once they got him inside, Liana lost her temper.  
  
  
"I don't believe this!" she shouted, "you're out of here for half a day and you take shit??"  
  
  
"I thought it was aspirin!" retorted the Duke.  
  
  
"He really did!" Nick chimed in.  
  
  
"Don't make excuses for him!" Liana wouldn't hear it.  
  
  
Steph took Nick aside and lowered her voice.  
  
  
"We should go," she told him, "they need to figure this out in private."  
  
  
Nick agreed and the two of them left quietly, if Liana needed her again; she knew Steph's number. She planned to drop in tomorrow afternoon anyway, just to make sure everything was going okay.  
  


"Well _that_ was bloody awkward!" snapped the Duke, "you've chased them off!"  
  
  
"Me??" demanded Liana, "you're the one who's off your face!"  
  
  
"I didn't do it on purpose!" he insisted, "why don't you _ever_ believe me?"  
  
  
"Because you lied to me!" Liana started to sob heavily, "you told me the gun wasn't loaded!"   The Thin White Duke lowered his gaze then, it was true - he'd lied about that.  
  
  
"Well I'm being honest right now," he said quietly, "I may be a hollow man, Liana but I'm not lying to you about this."  
  
  
"You're not hollow," Liana also lowered her voice, "not anymore."  He took her hand and pulled her down onto the sofa with him, Liana turned her face to his chest and cried.  
  
  
"I missed you," she whispered, tears streaming down her face. He was silent and she knew he was still experiencing effects from whatever he had taken, so she just let him be for the moment.  
  
  
"I really messed up tonight," he finally spoke, "I don't blame you for shouting."  Liana sighed, drying her tears.  
  
  
"You're going to come down extra hard," she warned him, "are you ready for that?"  He turned to her, clearly scared. She had not seen him falter before, he was always so in control.  
  
  
"I'll be right here with you," she vowed, then she leaned in and kissed him. He withdrew from her, turning his face away and Liana felt bad for shouting at him now. _What if he was telling her the truth?_


	25. No Means No

"Duke," she said softly.  
  
  
"It hurts," he managed to breathe out. Liana knew he was coming down, she rubbed his shoulders and felt how very tense they were. She also felt how very thin they were, which increased her firm convictions to stick by him.  
  
  
"Don't," he shifted and pushed her away, not wanting any contact, "please, just leave me alone."  
  
  
Liana sat back from him, wishing there was something she could do for him. She'd noticed the bandage on his hand ages ago, but hadn't mentioned it. Probably he was looking for some kind of feeling, anything other than nausea or fatigue. Pain must have seemed like a good idea, a warped mind coming down off drugs would probably have come to such a conclusion. His breathing became audible, so Liana placed her hand upon his shoulder again.  
  
  
"Duke?" she whispered. He slowly looked around at her and she slid her hand down to his thigh, their eyes met and she got closer to him. He was reluctant, pulling away from her but Liana touched his face and his gaze met hers once more. She rubbed his thigh firmly, sliding her hand right up to his crotch and down again. He seemed confused at first, then a little surprised and Liana noticed that he was starting to get turned on.  
  
  
"Let me help you," she whispered into his ear. He sighed audibly, eyes closed and Liana's fingers closed around his wrist. They stood and walked to the bedroom, closing the door and embracing tightly.  
  
  
"I don't know how much more of this I can take," he admitted softly.  
  
  
"We'll get through this together," Liana promised him, "just be strong."  
  
  
"I'm not sure I can," he said, drawing back to look into her eyes.  
  
  
"Then let me be strong for you sometimes," Liana told him, "we can do this, you're not alone."  
  
  
She held him for a few moments longer, how vulnerable he seemed to her in those minutes that followed. She knew he was hurting, so she was motionless in his embrace. Then he let go and walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it and lowering his gaze. _Was he ashamed?_  
  
  
Liana sat beside him and pushed him down into the pillows, she straddled him and began to slowly unbutton his vest and shirt. He watched her silently, his intense gaze upon her fingers. Liana felt him harden beneath her, so she continued undressing him slowly; encouraged by his lack of protests and the bulge in his trousers.

  
"Are you okay?" she asked him.  He looked at her eyes as he sat up a little, shedding the vest and shirt. They landed with a clunk onto the floor, because of the gun.  
  
  
"No," he replied quietly. Liana embraced with him and they slowly began to make out. She drew back again and brushed her lips against his ear.  
  
  
"Do you want to do this?" she whispered, grinding her hips into his forcefully. He moaned, but then he surprised her with his response.  
  
  
"No," he spoke quietly, in obvious distress and Liana pulled back to look at him curiously.  
  
  
He was erect, his hardness pressing into her through their clothes. Perhaps he wasn't sure about what he wanted, she ground herself into him again and his eyes fluttered as he moaned loudly. He was coming down from an unknown drug right now, maybe he really meant yes? He was certainly responding well physically, it was his words that gave her reason to hesitate. She reached down and lifted her hips, pushing his trousers to his ankles and setting free the rigid member that pulsed beneath her.  
  
  
"You're so _hard_ ," she said softly, gently pushing him back down into the pillows.  
  
  
His fingers curled, gripping the sheets so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Liana didn't know this was an indication of pain, she imagined he was tensing up with pleasure as she lowered herself onto his ready shaft. He tried to ask her to stop, but all he could manage was to mumble her name and it only encouraged her to continue. Liana brought herself down onto him hard, watching his face screw up and hearing his grunt just aroused her so that she was wet inside. As she slicked along his cock, the Thin White Duke moaned and thrust into her but it was an involuntary movement done on instinct rather than being an actual thought controlled action.  
  
  
Liana moaned and grasped his wrist, trying to pull his hand away from the sheets so that she could direct it to her pert breasts but his grip on them was too tight. Tiny beads of sweat started to appear on his forehead, but her eyes were closed as she decided to massage her own breasts and pinch at her nipples. His eyes opened to look at Liana, he was distracted by the sight of her as she played with her breasts but the pain in his body made him shudder. Liana felt the movement of his body under her and believed he was writhing with pleasure, because his half closed eyes were staring right at her breasts. She smiled at him, lowering herself down so that her breasts were crushed between their bodies.  
  
  
He opened his mouth to protest, but her tongue was inside within seconds and he could only kiss her back in response. Still grinding her hips, impaling herself onto him roughly, Liana moaned into his mouth and ran her hand down to where their bodies were joined. She started to tease her clit, panting into the kiss heavily as it muffled her moans of desire. He let go of the sheets and grasped her waist, lifting her off but she slammed right back down when the head of his cock was almost out. He cried out, in pleasure and in pain. He wanted her to stop, his stomach felt like it was being stabbed and his head felt so hot. Something wasn't right, but he couldn't speak.  
  
  
Liana heard him and kept going until her orgasm crashed into her, she called out his name and felt him throb inside of her. She pressed herself down so hard that she could feel his soft balls against her ass, he uttered a loud groan and her convulsing inner muscles massaged his cock into submission. She whimpered with pleasure as he came hard into her, the spurts of his semen streams hot and fast within her contracting walls. He was breathing heavily, gripping the sheets again and Liana smiled down at him; oblivious.  
  
  
"Wow," she breathed into his ear, "next time, it's your turn to do all the work, okay?"  He turned his face from her, his gaze averted and his breathing ragged.  
  
  
"Duke?" Liana suddenly frowned, finally noticing something was wrong. She felt his forehead and quickly withdrew her hand shortly afterwards, he was burning up.  
  
  
"Oh Duke, I'm so sorry!" she quickly dismounted from him and hurried to get him a cold, damp cloth. She returned hurriedly, placing it onto his hot forehead and bringing the blankets up over him as he started to shiver uncontrollably.  
  
  
"You've got a fever," she said gently, "shit, I am such an _ass!_ "  He closed his eyes, succumbing to the pain and drifting into the comforting blanket of darkness.  
  
  
"Duke?" Liana shook him gently, "Duke please... Don't pass out, Duke? Duke!"  But he didn't hear her anymore. Liana sat by his side all night, changing his damp cloth every so often and worrying about him until she couldn't stay awake a minute longer.


	26. What He Doesn't Know

He woke around lunchtime the next day, Liana was slumped over his chest and fast asleep. After a moment, she stirred and opened her eyes.  
  
  
"Duke!" she gasped, "oh my gosh, I am so sorry! Can you ever forgive me??"  He frowned, removing the washcloth from his forehead.  
  
  
"For what?" he asked her, slightly puzzled, "how did I get _here?_ "   His memory of last night was hazy at best.  
  
  
Liana hesitated, biting her lower lip - _should she tell him?_  
  
  
"Are you alright?" he asked her, making her feel worse.  She hugged him suddenly, her face buried into his chest and he hesitantly placed an arm around her. _Why was she nude?_  
  
  
"How much do you remember from last night?" Liana asked him. His brow furrowed as he tried to think.  
  
  
"I think I remember you putting me to bed," he told her, "it gets a little fuzzy after that."  She withdrew from him and he could see that she was close to tears, but he couldn't imagine why.  
  
  
"I must have passed out on you," he admitted, "I'm sorry."  Liana shook her head, he really wasn't the one who should be apologizing.  
  
  
"I'm going to get dressed and make us some lunch," she said, getting to her feet. He watched her leave the room and then he pushed the covers away, frowning down at the pants that were around his ankles. He pulled them back on, located his discarded clothes and put them on as well. Emerging from the bedroom, he walked into the kitchen and grinned at her amusedly.  
  
  
"I didn't even get my pants all the way off," he told her, "I must have been super tired."  Liana choked back a sob and turned away from him, so he fell silent and decided that his withdrawals were depressing her.  He felt bad.  
  
  
"I'm going to have a shower real quick," he excused himself. He felt a little dirty and oddly enough, he smelled like sex. Perhaps the sheets needed to be washed.  
  
  
Liana heard the shower running and set the lunch onto the table, then she heard someone at the door so she answered it.  
  
  
"Hey Liana," greeted Steph, "are you okay? You look like you've been crying."  
  
  
"I've done something terrible!" Liana admitted.  
  
  
"You didn't throw him out?!" asked Steph, it would be a shame if she did; they'd come so far in just a short time.  
  
  
"No," Liana shook her head, "I haven't told him about it yet."  
  
  
"Well, what's the harm in not telling him?" asked Steph, "whatever it is, it can't hurt him if he has no idea."  Liana invited her in but the logic was slightly flawed, because while it may not hurt him; it was eating her alive with guilt.  
  
  
"So what did you do?" asked Steph, sitting down, "do you want to talk about it?"  
  
  
"Not really," Liana sighed, "I'm so ashamed of myself, I just want to die!"  
  
  
"Wow," Steph looked more curiously at her, "that doesn't sound like you, it must have been something pretty bad."  Liana glanced up as the Thin White Duke joined them, his hair still slightly damp and he smelled faintly of cologne.  
  
  
"Hello Steph," he greeted her, pulling his plate closer.  
  
  
"Hey Sexy," Steph teased him, "how do you feel today?"  
  
  
"Actually, not too bad," replied the Duke, "really relaxed."  
  
  
"Well I hope it lasts," Steph told him honestly, "you deserve a break."  
  
  
He smiled at her and they began to eat, Steph nudged Liana and raised her brows encouragingly as if to say _'see? He doesn't care what you did!'_ But it did little to ease her guilt. After lunch was over, Steph and Liana were sitting on the sofa talking quietly while the Thin White Duke stood over by the window with a cigarette in his mouth. He wasn't listening to their conversation, too deep in thought about not letting on to anyone how he really felt. He didn't want to make Liana sad anymore, so he decided to keep it to himself as much as he could.  
  
  
"He's really quiet today," Steph was saying.  
  
  
"I know," Liana sighed, shaking her head, "I wish he'd say something about last night, I even wish he'd shout at me or... anything!"  Steph squeezed Liana's shoulder.  
  
  
"I'm gonna go," she said with a small smile, "you two really need to talk." 


	27. Confession

Liana stood up and showed her out, then she walked back into the living room but he didn't turn to look at her.  
  
  
"Are you really feeling better?" Liana asked him. He seemed to be in a daze but he turned now and snapped out of it.  
  
  
"Of course," he managed a slight hint of a smile.  
  
  
"Bullshit," Liana folded her arms across her chest.  He frowned.  
  
  
"That might work on Steph," she told him, "but I'm not falling for it."  His gaze returned to the window.  
  
  
"I don't want to tell you," he said to her, "because I don't want you to be sad anymore."  Liana was puzzled for a minute and then it dawned on her that he had woken up to her sobbing and had no idea why. He was blaming himself!  
  
  
"You think I was crying because of you?" she asked him. He nodded.  
  
  
"Weren't you?" he questioned her.  
  
  
"No!" Liana unfolded her arms. He was silent again, turning back around to face her.  
  
  
"Liana.. " he started, then he frowned and trailed off.  
  
  
"What?" she asked him, "what is it?"  
  
  
"It's nothing," replied the Thin White Duke.  
  
  
"No, tell me," Liana insisted, "please?"  He hesitated, then he put out his cigarette.  
  
  
"Why were you naked this morning?" he asked her at last. Liana swallowed dryly and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly to calm her nerves.  
  
  
"I have a confession to make," Liana sat down. He looked curious and tilted his head.  
  
  
"Did you have sex with someone?" he asked her. Liana was very surprised, but she believed that he was referring to himself when he said 'someone' and she nodded slowly. He smirked, shaking his head.  
  
  
"Is that what you were so upset about this morning?" he asked her.  
  
  
"Well, yes... Actually," Liana looked confused, why wasn't he pissed at her?  
  
  
"Aren't you angry?" she questioned him.  
  
  
"No," he answered her, "of course not."  She threw her arms around him in relief, he embraced her after a moment's pause and shrugged.  
  
  
"I don't deserve to be forgiven!" Liana drew back to look him in the eyes.  
  
  
"I don't understand," said the Duke, "what is there to forgive?"  Liana fell silent suddenly.  
  
  
"Was he better than me?" asked Duke with another smirk. Liana closed her eyes with a heavy sigh, he just didn't get it...  
  
  
"I didn't have sex with another man," Liana hinted.  
  
  
He lifted a brow.  
  
  
"You had sex with a woman?" he asked her, surprised, "I'm sad to have missed that.. "  
  
  
  
Liana rolled her eyes, sighing heavily.  
  
  
"No! And don't try to make light of this," she grumbled.  
  
  
"Why not?" he asked.  
  
  
"Because," Liana let him go and took a step back from him, "because it _was_ you."


	28. I Need A Drink

He stared at her, letting the words sink in.  
  
  
"How do I not remember that?" he asked her.  
  
  
  
  
  
"You had a fever," Liana replied quietly.  
  
  
"You knew?" he asked.  
  
  
"No!" Liana insisted, "of course I didn't!"  He took her hand into his.  
  
  
"Then I forgive you just the same," he said flippantly, "forget it."  
  
  
"I wish I could," Liana found his hand holding hers comforting, "knowing what I've done... How can you be so calm?"  He pulled her into a tight embrace.  
  
  
"You did not set out to do it deliberately," he responded softly, "did you?"  
  
  
"No," she answered.  
  
  
"Then I cannot be angry," he told her, then he drew back, "was I delirious?"  
  
  
"I'm not sure," Liana frowned thoughtfully, "you were answering my questions... "  She felt guilty all over again.  
  
  
"What questions?" he wanted to know.  
  
  
"I asked if you were alright," Liana admitted, "and I... I asked... if you wanted to... to... "  She couldn't bring herself to speak of it again.  
  
  
"What did I say?" the Duke prompted her again.  Liana felt tears well up in her eyes.  
  
  
"You said no," she sniffled. He raised a brow.  
  
  
"To _both?_ " he asked her. Liana nodded, the tears now streaming down her cheeks. He backed away from her now, shaking his head in disbelief.  
  
  
"That doesn't sound like me at all," he said quietly.  
  
  
"Will you stop??" demanded Liana, "this isn't _funny_ , Duke!"  He walked back over to her and touched her face, drying her tears with his thumbs.  
  
  
"What do you remember exactly?" Liana asked him.  
  
  
"I remember taking some aspirin at Nick's place," he answered her, "after that it sort of fades in and out. There were some weird, flashing lights for a while."  
  
  
"Probably street lamps," Liana told him, "you were laying in the back seat."  
  
  
"I remember you putting me to bed," he added, ignoring her wince, "then I woke up here. I wasn't sure how I got back, but then I have woken up in some pretty strange places."  
  
  
"Duke," Liana scolded him gently.  He squeezed her hand gently.  
  
  
"Would you do me a favor?" he asked her.  
  
  
"Of course," she sniffled, "anything. What do you need?"  
  
  
"Whiskey... Gin? No, Vodka... " he paused in thought.  
  
  
"Don't trade one addiction for another," Liana pleaded with him, "that won't solve anything."  
  
  
"Just to take the edge off," he assured her, "I won't have too much."  
  
  
"Promise?" Liana searched his eyes.  
  
  
"Yes," the Duke promised her.  Liana picked up her keys.  
  
  
"Will you be okay here alone?" she asked.  
  
  
"I'll be fine," he nodded.  
  
  
"I will hurry," Liana decided.  
  
  
"Take your time," he told her, "I think I'll just go and sleep it off for a while."  
  
  
"Oh, okay then," Liana quickly kissed his cheek and walked to the door.  
  
  
"Is that all I get?" demanded the Duke.  Liana bit back a smile and walked back over to him, she leaned in slowly and they kissed deeply.  
  
  
Liana left and the Thin White Duke watched her from the window until she was out of sight, then he winced and dropped his pretense. Clutching at his stomach, he went to the bathroom and gagged himself with a damp washcloth so as not to alarm the neighbors with the screams that followed.


	29. Dark Thoughts

Liana took her time and got a few extra things before returning home, she looked into the bedroom and true to his word; the Thin White Duke was asleep on the bed. She didn't know it, but he'd only just made it there before passing out. The last hour or so had been hell for him, the kind of painful experience he wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon. Liana was just done cooking dinner and setting the table by the time he came around, blinking in the darkness of the bedroom. He groaned and got out of bed, stumbled to the door and ventured out into the dining room.  
  
  
Liana smiled a little at him, putting his plate onto the table. She walked over to him and hugged him, her head resting on his chest.  
  
  
"I never asked about your hand," she said at last, "did you hurt it on purpose?"  
  
  
"I'm not sure," he sat down and she joined him at the table, "it all happened so quickly. Perhaps I did... "  He shrugged and she left it at that, but promised herself she would keep a closer eye on him. After dinner, they moved to the living room and Liana chewed her bottom lip.  
  
  
"Are you really alright?" she asked him.  He stood in front of her, pursing his lips before responding.  
  
  
"Liana, I think you should take my gun," he said firmly.  Liana frowned.  
  
  
"Why?" she asked, as he placed it into her hands. She looked down at it, then back up at him.  
  
  
"Do you think you might hurt yourself, or me?" she questioned his motives. But he simply averted his gaze and refused to answer the question.  
  
  
"Duke," she prompted him, "no more secrets."  He turned his attention back to her, reluctant to agree to this new rule.  
  
  
"Tell me what's on your mind," Liana said to him.  He was silent for a long moment, then he looked towards the window.  
  
  
"Terrible thoughts," he said softly. Liana nodded in understanding.  
  
  
"Will you share them with me?" she asked. He shook his head, no.  
  
  
"It's better if I don't," he assured her, "trust me."  Liana accepted his response with slight reluctance, she left the living room and hid the gun in a kitchen drawer. She turned and looked at him as he appeared in the doorway, her eyes searching his.  
  
  
"Is it really that bad?" she asked him, "you would hurt yourself?"  He lowered his gaze.  
  
  
"Most of the time I just want to curl up in the corner," he admitted to her finally, "and end it."  Liana walked over to him and put her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt his arms come to embrace her in return, he was so thin it frightened her.  
  
  
"I'll get you a drink," she said quietly. He kissed the top of her head, then they parted and he went and sat on the sofa. Liana poured him a stiff drink, then she took it in to him and he downed it in one.  
  
  
Liana creased her brow with worry, but to her relief he did not ask for another. She sat beside him and leaned into him, his arm came around her and she closed her eyes with a sigh of content. The Thin White Duke gripped the glass tightly, unwilling to disturb her and so not following the rule of _no more secrets_.  
  
  
Well, he did tell her it never went away, so technically he wasn't keeping it from her. He was just, withholding the intensity of it from her right now...


	30. Let Me Help You

"I have to go back to work soon," Liana said quietly, after a few minutes. He said nothing, that was probably for the best because he wouldn't have to get her out of the house for different reasons each day when the pain became too intense for him to be able to hide it well from her. Sooner or later she was probably going to find out, but he would rather it not be today.  
  
  
"I took a week off," Liana went on, "but now I don't want to go away and leave you all alone."  
  
  
"Don't worry about me so much," he reassured her, "I can look after myself until you come home."  
  
  
"Well, just in case," said Liana, "I'll send someone to check in every so often, alright?"  
  
  
"If you must," he sighed, "but it's fine, really."  
  
  
"I know you're lying," Liana told him, sitting back from him, "did the drink help?"  He looked at her, masking his pain from her was easy because she didn't know the signs to watch out for.  
  
  
"It has taken the edge off," he replied, "as I imagined it would."  Liana stared at him for a moment longer, deciding she really needed to ask Steph a few questions about her brother's withdrawals.  
  
  
"Why didn't it bother you when you thought I had slept with another person?" Liana asked him.  
  
  
"Why should it bother me?" he asked her back.  Liana felt a little hurt, but she had to remember who she was talking to. Sex wasn't a sacred thing to this man, he took it from anyone whereas she'd only give it to someone she especially cared for. Someone she loved...  
  
  
"Nevermind," she smiled quickly, hiding her emotional pain from him because he had enough to deal with right now, "it's not important."  
  
  
He shifted and she stood up, walking to the bathroom to be alone for a little while.  
  
  
She frowned curiously when she got in there, one or two items had been knocked down onto the floor and the washcloth was missing. Looking around, she saw it by the door and knelt down to examine it. The washcloth was rolled into a long line, it had dried up and she saw a clear set of teeth marks in it. Connecting the dots from there wasn't difficult, it bothered her that he continued to hide things from her and it hurt.  
  
  
Why?  
  
  
Why would he not tell her how badly he suffered? He shouldn't go through such hell alone, it wasn't something she liked to imagine but it played itself out in her mind all the same.  
  
  
She thought about him screaming, the terrible sounds muffled by the gag and his body contorting with unbearable pain. She thought of him screaming out for her to help him, a desperate plea falling unheard into the empty house as he dragged himself to the door. She thought about the washcloth dropping from his mouth, a hellish roar of agony escaping him as he made his way to the bedroom. She thought that perhaps he lay writhing on the bed, her name on his lips as he slowly lost consciousness.  
  
  
Some tears fell onto the washcloth in her hand when she picked it up,  
  
  
Liana frowned and walked back to the living room. She stood in front of the sofa, looking down at the Thin White Duke in disbelief.  
  
  
"What is this?" she asked him, though the tone in her voice was accusing and he knew she'd figured it out.  
  
  
He leaned forwards, cigarette in hand.  
  
  
  
  
"Were you ever going to tell me?" demanded Liana, when he hadn't answered her for a time.  
  
  
"I shouldn't think so," he shook his head lightly, looking up at her from the sofa.  
  
  
"Duke, you have got to stop hiding things from me!" Liana insisted firmly, "how can I help you through this if you won't let me in?"  He lowered his gaze, she wasn't supposed to find out this soon.  
  
  
"I care about you so much," Liana told him. His gaze snapped back to hers, agitation creeping into his tone now.  
  
  
"Which is exactly why I never told you!" he raised his voice, "I didn't want you to worry over nothing!"  
  
  
"Nothing?!" Liana was exasperated now, "how can you call this _nothing?!_ "  He stood up to meet her face to face, but he was silent and it drove her crazy when he wouldn't talk to her. Liana was grateful that he wasn't shouting at her, though or getting up in her face like most would at this point.  
  
  
"You asked for my help," her voice was soft now, "let me help you."


	31. I Think He Likes You

She imagined the Thin White Duke the way everyone described him: Cold, unfeeling, a drug addicted sex bomb (that was Steph's description) and yet as he stood here right now; she knew that hidden behind that reputation was a young man hiding from the world. He must be so frightened and vulnerable, because he kept up his fascade of not caring about anything or anyone. Liana knew it may not have been pretense before she met him, but she felt that it was all bravado now and she needed to break through his defenses somehow. He turned away from her, taking a long drag of his cigarette and inhaling it deeply before letting it out again slowly.  
  
  
"Alright," he relented, still turned away from her, "next time it happens, you can watch. Satisfied?"  
  
  
He walked away and Liana felt like sobbing, but she held it back. He spoke as though she were looking forward to it, as if it were a circus or something entertaining. It was now more important than ever to get in touch with Steph, she may have some ideas on how to help him cope during the worst of it. Liana picked up the phone, invited Steph over for the night and she agreed to arrive just before dinner. If the Thin White Duke had an attack tonight, at least Liana would have some support and she wouldn't have to just sit there and wonder what to do.  
  
  
**  
  
  
That evening, Steph arrived as arranged and Liana sat with her in the living room while dinner was cooling off.  
  
  
"You've got to put yourself in his shoes," Steph was saying, "would you want him to see you in that state?"  
  
  
"Never!" Liana gasped, "I wouldn't ever want to put him through that!"  
  
  
"You see where he's coming from, then?" asked Steph. Liana nodded, but something didn't quite add up.  
  
  
"I wouldn't want him to see me that way because I love him," Liana admitted softly, "but Steph, he doesn't love me back... Why should it upset him to know that I will see?"  Steph looked at her pointedly, then she shook her head and sighed.  
  
  
"You're so _blind,_ " she scolded Liana gently, "can't you figure it out?"  Liana frowned, staring at her cluelessly.  
  
  
"Come on!" Steph urged her, _"think_ about it!" Liana averted her gaze, thinking hard about the Thin White Duke's behaviour. Steph smiled as it slowly began to dawn on Liana.  
  
  
"Now you're getting it!" Steph chuckled, "he _likes_ you, that's why he won't let you see him in distress."  Liana's hands trembled slightly, she had no idea he felt this way about her.  
  
  
"Steph," she looked up at her friend, "you have to tell me everything you know, don't leave anything out, please!"  
  
  
"Don't worry," Steph reassured her, "by the time I'm done talking to you, there'll be nothing you don't know."  
  
  
Liana leaned in and listened to Steph, who told her how to recognize pain and discomfort as well as their varying degrees. Liana was in silent tears, because she realized that he was in terrible pain quite a lot of the time and she never knew it until now. She told Liana in detail everything that her brother went through, but also explained it was far worse for the Duke because he was a lot more hardcore than her brother had been.  
  
  
"It's always slightly different when someone comes down off drugs for good," Steph finished, "some just don't make it, we need to be careful. If we push him too hard, we could lose him."  Liana nodded.  
  
  
"He looks so fragile," she said softly, "do you think his body can take this?"  
  
  
"He's a lot stronger than he looks, Liana," replied Steph, "have a little confidence in him."  
  
  
"Alright," Liana smiled slightly, "let's get dinner on the table and feed him up, hm?"  
  
  
Steph chuckled and followed her out of the living room.  
  
  
**  
  
  
During dinner, Liana calmed down because watching the Thin White Duke eating everything on his plate soothed her. She always made sure the meals she made for him were healthy but would also get him to fill out a bit, it would take a while to become noticeable but as long as he kept eating; it would happen eventually. He never complained about the food Liana gave to him, which always made her feel good about herself and tonight he was about to shock her to the core.  
  
  
He looked up at her and she got nervous, thinking he was going to say something about their argument earlier.  
  
  
"Is there any more?" he asked her. Liana froze momentarily, he had never gone for seconds before.  
  
  
"Uhm, sure!" she was certainly surprised and stood up.  
  
  
"No, I'll get it," said the Duke, excusing himself from the table and taking his plate into the kitchen. Steph raised her brows at Liana, who couldn't stop beaming from ear to ear.  
  
  
"Wow!" whispered Steph.  
  
  
"Please tell me that's a good sign," Liana spoke softly, excited now.  
  
  
"It's a very good sign," Steph confirmed, "it means his body is demanding more nutrition to repair the damage that has been done to it."  Liana felt tears of happiness prick her eyes, she laughed with relief and Steph just smiled at her.  
  
  
"This will be a good thought to fall back on in harder times," Steph told her, "hold onto it, you'll need it later."  
  
  
Liana nodded and the Thin White Duke returned with his plate full and the two women couldn't help but watch him as he ate it, he noticed them but said nothing.


	32. Hot Water

Later on, Steph and Liana were watching television and the Duke was browsing through the small library in the sitting room. He seemed calm enough that the two women were relaxed, drinking a glass of wine and chatting during the commercials. Liana kept glancing back towards the hallway, Steph finally called her out on it.  
  
  
"If you're worried," she said to Liana, "go and see how he's doing."  Liana blushed.  
  
  
"Only if you come with me," she insisted, "I don't want to look like I don't trust him. It makes him a little grumpy."  Steph laughed gently and they walked to the sitting room, where he had his back to them and was looking at a shelf of thick books. Silently, Liana and Steph leaned in the doorway and just watched him. He had no idea they were there, busy reading the spines of the books to see what ones were there.  
  
  
Liana was about to announce herself, when she faltered and Steph followed her gaze to the Thin White Duke. He was looking down at the floor now, but why? There wasn't anything there...  
  
  
He had felt it earlier, it had come on slowly and had given him time to get rid of Liana for a couple of hours while it hit him. But right now it had just crept up on him like a sudden flash storm, he wasn't ready for it and had taken in a sharp gasp that caused Liana to falter just now.  
  
  
"No," came his weak protest, "not again... "  
  
  
"Duke?" Liana got closer to him.  
  
  
"Argh!" he stumbled backwards and Liana caught him before he fell, Steph was soon right there with her and she readied herself.  
  
  
"Get the washcloth," Liana told Steph, "we don't want anyone calling the police."  
  
  
Steph rushed off to moisten the washcloth and brought it back to them, just in time. He bit down on it and Liana held his hand, sitting him down onto the floor and she winced as he squeezed her hand. The screams that followed were almost inhuman, Liana had never heard anything like it in her life and it really got to her. Steph was more calm about it, she'd seen it all before but admittedly not this bad.  
  
  
"Talk to him," she reminded Liana, "it will distract him from the pain."  Liana nodded, looking at the Duke with concern. His face was turned away, his breathing heavy and ragged while his fists clenched up tight.  
  
  
"Duke, look at me," Liana gently turned his face towards her, but his eyes remained averted. He was shivering uncontrollably, as if he were freezing.  
  
  
"It's nerves most likely," said Steph, "I'll go and make a hot bath, the water should help."  She got up and went to the bathroom, running a hot bath for him.  
  
  
"So I know you like me," Liana said softly. His eyes looked into hers now, momentarily distracted from the pain.  
  
  
"I'm really flattered," Liana continued, "because I couldn't stand it if you were in love with anyone else. To be honest, I was kind of jealous... Of you and Steph. You guys have this, I dunno, thing that you share... "  He was watching her, listening and Liana noticed his fists were not so tightly clenched anymore.  
  
  
"I hear you can really sing," Liana smiled at him gently, "is it true? I would love to hear you sometime... "   Steph returned.  
  
  
"It's ready," she announced. He looked puzzled, but did not protest as they led him to the bathroom and undressed him. Liana helped him into the tub, watching him lay back and close his eyes.  
  
  
"Bubbles?" Liana asked, "really?"  
  
  
"For privacy," Steph explained.  
  
  
"I don't think that's a high priority with him somehow," Liana smirked. Steph shrugged, but the conversation was helping him continue to remain distracted. The lack of screaming was encouraging, Liana was relieved and Steph smiled knowingly.  
  
  
"Remember that thought I told you to hold onto?" Steph said, watching the Duke's body language carefully.  
  
  
"I remember," Liana nodded.  
  
  
"Get ready to hold onto it," Steph warned her. Liana looked down at the Thin White Duke worriedly.  
  
  
"Shouldn't we get him out then?" she asked, "he could hurt himself in there!"  
  
  
"Just get behind his head," Steph instructed her, "don't hold back, okay? You get rough if you need to."  
  
  
"Rough?" Liana moved into position, "what do you want me to do?"  He began to groan.  
  
  
"Hold him," Steph replied calmly, "just hold him and remember that thought."  Liana put her arms under his, her hands over his chest and clasped together. He felt the pressure on his chest and found it comforting, his groans ceased for a while. Steph reached into the water with her hand, Liana frowned and wondered what she was doing.  
  
  
"I'm just rubbing him down," Steph caught Liana's look, "his muscles will be cramping up, I am just trying to loosen them a little."  It seemed to be helping, because he had calmed again and Liana leaned down to kiss his cheek softly.  
  
  
He turned towards her and Steph smiled slightly as they started making out, looking at the clenched fists of the Thin White Duke and knowing he was in a lot of pain. He turned more and put his arms around her, gripping her hair so tightly it started to hurt but Liana didn't complain. It was a fierce kiss, their teeth clashed and their tongues wrestled but it was working. Steph bit her lower lip, reaching between his legs and Liana heard him moan into her mouth. Her eyes were closed, so she didn't know what Steph was doing to him.  
  
  
Determined to make him come, Steph stroked him softly at first and then curled her fingers around his cock to pump it harder and faster. He arched his back, his moans of pleasure now almost indistinguishable from his groans of pain. Liana would stop kissing him if he pulled back, then he would kiss her again in another fiery clash of tongues the moment each bout of pain subsided. Holding onto him and making out with him really seemed to be doing the trick, but the moans were confusing her until she cast a quick glance to Steph. Steph was not making any secrets about what she was doing under the water, Liana wasn't sure how she felt about it but right now it was all about helping him and not about fighting with Steph. Liana turned her head, feeling his mouth come to her neck and he bit and sucked to give her a lovebite.  
  
  
"You shouldn't be doing that," Liana told Steph quietly, "he's in pain!"  
  
  
Steph looked at her, but didn't stop and Liana had to trust her because there was nothing more she could do at the moment without leaving the Duke's side. She felt his hand come up under her blouse, a look of surprise on her face as he squeezed her breast hard. Her eyes fluttered closed when his thumb and finger pinched her nipple, twisting and pulling at it hard. Liana moaned and the Thin White Duke found her lips again, kissing her intensely.  
  
  
Steph knew what she was doing, if there was anything that could take away the intensity of the pain it was pleasure. She knew he would not appreciate it, because he was in a lot of pain but at the same time she also knew his body was responding favorably. So even if he wasn't in the mood right now, it was helping and he wasn't exactly asking her to stop it. But could he speak?  
  
  
Liana was worried because she hadn't had a clue that he was not alright when she'd had sex with him last time, he couldn't tell her and she wasn't even listening anyway. She pulled back and looked him in the eyes, he stared at her and breathed heavily.  
  
  
"Is this alright?" she asked him firmly. He moaned and nodded, desperately squeezing her breast and arching his back once more.  
  
  
"He's coming," whispered Steph. Liana watched him as he started to release, the rush of positive feelings battled the agonizing pain and he slowly relaxed. Liana noticed the visible relaxing of his body, his eyes closed and his fists unclenched themselves from her hair.  
  
  
" _Oh_ ," the sound came from the Duke, it was relief and release all in one. He was still breathing heavily, perspiring a little but he was okay. Liana drained the water from the tub, they helped him get dried, dressed him in a light shirt and cotton pants  and took him to the bedroom where he was asleep on the bed within moments.  
  
  
  
  
Liana covered him with a light sheet, then they closed the door and went back to the sofa.  
  
  
"He should be alright now," Steph told her, "you get some rest, I'll stay up a bit longer. It _does_ get better, trust me."  Liana nodded, laying down and closing her eyes. It hadn't been as bad as she'd imagined his last attack was, perhaps now he would want them around for the next one.


	33. Play Rough With Me

Steph waited until Liana was asleep, then she got up and crept into the bedroom with an unsatisfied craving for the Thin White Duke. She climbed onto the bed and he frowned in his sleep, mumbling Liana's name and turning onto his side; away from her. Steph leaned over and brought her lips close to his ear.  
  
  
"I want you so bad," she whispered to him. Still frowning, his eyes opened and he turned to look at her, it was too dark for him to see her clearly.  
  
  
"Steph?" he mumbled sleepily.  
  
  
"Shhh," she hushed into his ear. His eyes closed and he lay back down again, drifting off once more. The plan was to wait for him to wake up, as she knew very well that he would. He'd be rested then and not half asleep, _perfect._  
  
  
**  
  
  
However, his second helping at dinner that night kept the Thin White Duke comfortably sound asleep right up until morning. He opened his eyes around 5AM and shifted, waking Steph. It was still quite dark and a flash of lightning followed by a dull rumble of thunder quickly explained why.  Steph sat up, smiling at him, but he did not smile back. She had taken off her clothes while she was waiting for him last night, falling asleep not long afterwards.  
  
  
"Morning, Lover," Steph purred and arched her back so that her breasts protruded towards him. She knew the Thin White Duke was a sucker for breasts, and true to form his eyes never left them.  
  
  
"I want you to fuck me the way you used to," she said softly, taking his wrist and thrusting his hand onto her right breast. His breath caught in his throat, his eyes flicked to hers and she gazed hungrily at his now parted lips.  
  
  
"Hard and fast," Steph teased along his thigh with her fingertips, "and just a little bit _rough_... "  


As she spoke the word 'rough', Steph grabbed his cock hard and the Thin White Duke winced before grunting painfully. Her smirk issued a silent challenge, then within seconds both her face and breasts were pressed hard against the wall. He was right up behind her, she was on her knees and he pushed her thighs roughly apart to spread her open wide with his fingers. Steph breathed heavily, she hadn't expected him to move so fast and she'd hit the wall quite unceremoniously.  
  
  
As her obvious arousal drenched his fingertips, she felt him breathing in her ear and upon her neck. She closed her eyes, whimpering as he stretched her open wider. She felt him shove her knees apart again, lowering her slightly and dragging her back a little on the bed. Her breasts were no longer crushing against the wall, she dropped to all fours and panted as all of his fingers slipped in and out of her. Almost fisting her...   Suddenly, he grasped her with his free arm, wrapping it around her and hauling her back up against the wall. She gave a half sob of protest, but it was unheeded as he slid his fingers out of her entrance and trailed the wetness along both her thighs.  
  
  
Steph felt him part her again, then the head of his cock started to rub along her folds and tease against her sensitive nub. She began to moan and take in quick, short breaths, bucking her hips in pleasure. With one arm firmly wrapped around her, he was in complete control and she could only submit to his whims. She cried out as he pushed her knees apart as far as they could go, the strain starting to pull as she struggled not to drop to all fours again.  
  
  
Then, she felt what she'd been craving for so long now. He entered her with his hard member, pushing along her slickened inner walls and burying himself as deeply within her as possible. She took in a few sharp gasps, it felt so full and a little painful as he wasn't exactly small.  
  
  
"Oohh," Steph squeezed her eyes shut, it hurt and yet it felt so good all at once. _Just like old times_...  
  
  
He was snug inside of her, buried up to his balls and he hesitated to let her get used to his size for a moment. It felt good to be inside of her again, she wasn't very well traveled and he had a feeling he was the only one who had ever actually fucked her. His eyes closed as he remembered their first time, _her_ first time...  It turned him on and she whimpered again as she felt him grow bigger inside of her. He slowly withdrew his cock, until just the head was within her and she moaned with relief until he drove himself back in hard. Steph cried out as he hit her cervix, he repeated the action several times and it felt like he was getting rougher and rougher with each drive.  
  
  
Steph was panting quickly now, his free hand pinching and rolling her right nipple hard between his finger and thumb. He pulled at it, until she whimpered and then he rolled and twisted it again so that she moaned loudly. He continued driving his cock into her, his breath coming out in short bursts against her neck. She was perspiring all over, light beads of sweat covering her body as she writhed uncontrollably within his grasp. He was incredibly strong, his thrusts so powerful; he was definitely on the mend because she never remembered it being this rough. But Steph wasn't complaining, this was exactly how she wanted it; the way she liked it.  
  
  
She was helpless to do anything but take whatever he did to her, the sounds of her juices were an obvious sign that she was extremely aroused and he found it easier to drive into her. He felt her inner walls begin to twitch, his cock pulsed as they massaged and clamped around him. Steph heard his ragged gasps as he tried desperately not to come, she suddenly felt his fingers at her lips and he forced them into her mouth. Steph sucked on them hard, washing over them wetly with her tongue. He pulled them out, dripping with her saliva and his hand then slid down over her stomach. She knew where it was going, she gasped loudly several times as his soaked fingertips found their mark.  
  
  
Her gasps were loud and noisy, unbridled and she saw white as she started to orgasm violently. Momentarily blinded by the rush, her body convulsed and she lost control. He held onto her, keeping her up against the wall as the clamping around his cock kept him inside of her despite his efforts to pull out. He sucked in a hiss of a breath, his teeth clenched tightly and he exploded inside of her. Steph screamed, her body still jolting from the waves of pleasure he'd set loose upon it. He was shooting within her, his grip on her so tight that she struggled to breathe and saw spots behind her eyes.  
  
  
Just when Steph thought she might pass out, he let her go and she gasped for air, collapsing down onto all fours. He kept his cock inside of her, still tight and snug as her muscles pulsed and milked every last drop of his submission. He growled, a kind of rough purring sound right into her ear and she shivered; her knees now weak and shaking. Slowly, he pulled himself out of her and let her collapse down onto her stomach. He tucked his cock back into his pants, then he pulled her over onto her back so that he could admire her disheveled and naked form.  
  
  
Steph felt him push her thighs apart, admiring his handiwork as their combined juices spilled out over her thighs and onto the sheets below. She opened her eyes, propping herself up using her elbows and she watched him appraise her body with his appreciative gaze.  
  
  
"You really know how to _fuck a girl up_ ," she breathed heavily, then she moaned and fell back into the pillows. He smirked down at her, leaving her spreadeagled upon the bed and moving to the bathroom to take his morning shower.


	34. I Saw Him First!

Liana woke to the sound of thunder, it was stormy out and she shivered. Getting up to light the fire, she glanced around for Steph but couldn't see her in the living room anywhere. Upon hearing the shower running a minute later, she relaxed and decided that Steph was in the bathroom. Once she got the flames roaring, Liana went into the bedroom to check on the Duke. She pushed the door open silently...

 

The sight that greeted Liana was not a pretty one and it didn't take more than a second to figure out what had happened in here, as Steph hadn't made any effort to move at all since he left her. Liana walked over to the bed, looking at her friend with a frown on her face.  
  
  
"Slut!" Liana shouted. Steph jumped and sat up, quickly covering herself with a sheet.  
  
  
"You _know_ I love him!" Liana was furiously outraged, "how could you _do_ this to me?!"  Steph felt pangs of jealously and anger.  
  
  
"Hey, you two aren't exactly _officially_ together, alright?" Steph retorted, "until that happens, he's fair game!"  
  
  
"I trusted you!" Liana wasn't having any of it, "do you have any idea how this makes me feel?!"  
  
  
"Of course I do!" Steph shouted back, "how do you think I felt when I saw you with him? He was with me! I had him first, Liana! I saw him first and you stole him from me!"  
  
  
"That was ages ago!" Liana bit back, "you hadn't seen him for months!"  
  
  
"Well I'm not over him, alright?!" Steph felt hot tears stinging her eyes and they trickled down her face moments later. Liana sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed, hugging her friend.  
  
  
"I understand," Liana said softly.  And she really did, because this wasn't just any random guy they were fighting over.  
  
  
"What can we do?" sobbed Steph, "I want him so bad... "  
  
  
"So do I," Liana reminded her, "but I don't have a clue... There's only one of him and two of us."  Steph sat back, regarding Liana curiously.  
  
  
"We could share him, maybe?" she suggested, "would that work?"  
  
  
Liana pursed her lips in thought, _could it?_  
  
  
The answer, of course, was quite possibly a resounding no. They would feel jealous of each other and it was a possibility that he might fall in love with one of them but not the other. These thoughts went through both of their minds, but it seemed to appease the situation somewhat.  
  
  
"Let's make a pact," said Liana,. Steph looked interested.  
  
  
"I'm listening," she nodded.  
  
  
"We share him for now," Liana suggested, "but in the end, we wait and see who he falls for."  Steph was quiet for a while, then she smiled a little.  
  
  
"Sounds fair," she agreed, "neither of us is to blame if he falls in love."  
  
  
"Exactly," Liana nodded, "but whoever he falls in love with, the other person must be respectful of that, alright?"  
  
  
"I know," Steph told her, "but if he chooses me, how will that make you feel?"  Liana knew where she was going with this, because if he chose Liana then Steph would get hurt.  
  
  
"I know whoever he doesn't choose will be hurt," Liana said quietly, "but we have to respect his decision."  Steph smirked.  
  
  
"Lucky bastard 'til then, though." she chuckled. Liana nodded, blushing brightly.  
  
  
"You look a mess," Liana noted, "are you okay?"  
  
  
"Yeah," Steph winced, "I'll be alright."  She looked at the sheets.  
  
  
"I'm really sorry," she said quietly, "it was wrong of me, I do realize that."  
  
  
"We can settle it out later," Liana stood up, "we are here for him, not to argue amongst ourselves."  
  
  
Steph nodded, then she helped Liana to get the sheets changed and went to have her shower after the Duke had finished his. Liana made them all a huge breakfast, hoping he would eat a little extra again this morning and he did. Neither of them spoke about the incident of that morning to him, as he still had a long way to go before they would dare to talk about rules and relationships.


	35. Caged

Steph went out after breakfast because the storm had gone by then and Liana started to get things ready for when she had to return to work, although she would much rather stay at home with the Thin White Duke; bills needed paying.  She knew, for a fact, he would not be able to sit still. She also knew that, probably sooner rather than later, he was going to leave the house by himself. Liana worried and fretted over the day this would occur, he could take care of himself but that wouldn't stop her from being afraid to find him still out when she got back.  
  
  
She turned around and startled when she saw him, standing by the door watching her silently.  
  
  
"I didn't hear you come in," she breathed with a smile, "is everything alright?"  
  
  
"I'm not sure," he frowned, "I've got this awful feeling that something's wrong but I can't quite put my finger on it."  Liana walked over to him and he allowed her to embrace him but only for a moment, then he pulled away gently.  
  
  
"It's really getting me down," he told her.  
  
  
"Maybe you're tired?" suggested Liana.  
  
  
"I feel tired quite a lot," he responded sharply, "but that's not it."  He was getting agitated again, she knew it must be stressful to feel depressed and not know why.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Is it something from last night, perhaps?" Liana tried again.  
  
  
"No," he shook his head lightly, "oh, I never did thank you for helping me."  Liana smiled at him.  
  
  
"You don't need to," she assured him. He didn't say anything more, just looked thoughtful and left the room. Liana sighed, sometimes he acted as though they were intimate lovers destined to be together forever but other times she realized that... She barely knew him at all.  
  
  
*  
  
  
Things were quiet for the rest of the day, the Thin White Duke was sullen but not vocal about it and the pain seemed manageable for the time being. She would see him down a stiff drink once or twice, but never any more than that in a day.  
  
  
*  
  
  
As night fell, Liana slept in the bed and Steph stayed for another night but on the sofa. Duke didn't get any sleep at all, something was preventing him from relaxing and he just couldn't get rid of that awful feeling. As insomnia began to creep it's way into him, his agitation began to grow worse.  
  
  
*

It started to show in the morning, when he pushed the food around his plate and merely picked at it. Liana was hoping he would eat it, but when she asked him not to play with his breakfast, he silently left the table and didn't return. Steph glanced at Liana and lifted a brow at her in confusion, it had been a polite enough request.  
  
  
"What do you suppose that was all about?" she asked.  
  
  
"I wish I knew," Liana pouted, "he's barely touched a thing."  
  
  
"Maybe we should go and ask him?" suggested Steph, "can't hurt."  
  
  
"Maybe," Liana sighed, "I don't want to push him, though."  
  
  
*  
  
  
He was getting sick of being here, he felt cooped up and trapped in a life he did not ask for. Something was urgent inside of him, it made him feel anxious and restless. He had to do something, it was important but he couldn't think for the life of him what it could be. He heard them talking softly in the dining room, were they plotting against him?  That had to be it, he was supposed to do something very important and they were stopping him from doing it.  
  
  
They kept him here like a prisoner, gave him possibly drugged food to make him forget stuff and become complacent. Paranoia coupled with Insomnia were clouding his mind, it could only mean trouble because he was now looking at the front door with intent.


	36. Runaway

Steph and Liana walked into the living room, because that's where he had gone when he left the table but when they looked around - the Thin White Duke was gone. Liana turned to the front door, it was ajar and she felt a surge of panic rise up inside of her chest.  
  
  
"He's out there!" she tried not to hyperventilate. Steph ran to the door and looked outside.  
  
  
"I don't see him," she announced, turning back to Liana, "what do you want to do?"  
  
  
"I don't know!" Liana was very upset and confused, "everything was going good, why did he run off?"  
  
  
"Only he can answer that," Steph replied, "coming off drugs isn't easy. He was addicted to quite a few, cocaine is the worst because it only lasts a short while and you have to keep taking it more and more often."  
  
  
"What should we do?" Liana asked, "I'm so scared!"  
  
  
"We could give him his space," suggested Steph, "trust him, have a little faith."   Liana sniffled.  
  
  
"Or?" she asked.  
  
  
"Or we could go and find him," Steph replied, "and bring him home again."  
  
  
"He's not our pet," Liana scolded her gently, "he's certainly not a child either, we will give him some breathing space and trust he comes back when he's ready."  Steph looked outside as dark clouds began to gather, a huge storm was rolling in over them quickly.  
  
  
"It's up to you," Steph's brow creased with concern, "but I don't like the looks of those clouds."  
  
  
Liana joined her at the front door, looking up at the sky. Lightning flashed almost constantly in the distance, the trees on the far hills were nearly bent down to the ground and the rain appeared to be torrential.  She shivered as the first gusts of wind whipped around them both, a light spattering of raindrops beading in their hair.  
  
  
"We should really go and find him," Steph urged her. Liana drew her jacket tighter around herself, she knew Steph was right but would he come along quietly?  Judging by his behaviour this morning, she highly doubted it.  
  
  
"We can't go out in this," Liana said finally, "it's not safe."  Steph was puzzled.  
  
  
"But _he's_ out in that!" she argued.  
  
  
"I know," Liana felt sad, "but sometimes you just have to let things go."  Steph thought Liana was crazy, she was going to just close the door and forget the whole ordeal?  
  
  
"I don't get it," Steph frowned, "a storm like that has killed people before."  
  
  
"Which is why we are safer inside," Liana insisted, "he can take care of himself, I'm sure of it."   Liana closed the door, then walked back over to the fireplace and put some more logs into it.  
  
  
"Alright," Steph followed her, "suppose he does find somewhere safe to stay, who do you think his friends are, Liana?  What do they do all night and day?"   Liana tried not to think about it, she had to trust him.  
  
  
"He'll come home," she said firmly, "you'll see."  Steph rolled her eyes.  
  
  
"Yeah sure," she scoffed, "in how many pieces?"   Liana sat by the fire, the soft rug on the hearth was warm and comfortable.  
  
  
"He's not stupid, Steph!" Liana frowned, "he has protection."  
  
  
"Oh really?" Steph asked curiously, "still got his gun, has he?" Liana felt the blood drain from her face as she stared wide eyed into the flames.  
  
  
"Actually," Liana's voice trembled, as she looked up at Steph in fear, " _no_."


	37. Old Habits

But while Steph and Liana bunkered down to wait out the storm, worrying for his safety; the Thin White Duke was perfectly safe in a little venue that he used to frequent a while back. They knew him here, though some had to look at him twice because he looked a little healthier than when he was last there. The storm got worse, but nobody really noticed because it was a lovely little place with rooms to stay in upstairs if you got too drunk to drive home.  
  
  
"Hey Phil," he greeted the bartender.  
  
  
"Duke! I thought it was you!" said Phil.  Duke frowned curiously, but didn't think too much about it.  
  
  
"The usual," he said calmly, "make it a double."  
  
  
"Right you are," Phil nodded and smiled at him, "you look great, Duke. What's your secret?"   Again he frowned, uncertain.  
  
  
"I've kicked the habit," he finally figured it out, "if that's what you mean."  
  
  
"Wow, no kiddin'?" Phil watched as the Duke scratched absently at the back of his bandaged hand, "that must be hard to go through alone."  
  
  
"Oh, I'm not alone," Duke explained.  
  
  
"Got some good friends have yer?" asked Phil.  
  
  
"Yes," replied the Duke, really thinking about it now, "I suppose I have."  Phil smiled at him again and slid his double shot into his hand.  
  
  
"Getting a decent meal or two as well I see," he chuckled.  
  
  
"What do you mean?" asked the Duke, downing the double shot and grimacing.  
  
  
"It's noticeable," Phil told him, "you look a lot better, to be honest."  The Thin White Duke fell silent and Phil left him to gaze into the empty shot glass, thinking about what had been said to him just now.  
  
  
"Hey Dukey!" came an excited voice and the Duke turned to grasp hold of a shirt roughly, bringing a pair of wide eyes close to his own.  
  
  
"Don't call me that!" he growled.  
  
  
"Sorry, I'm sorry!" the man squirmed out of his grasp, "I knew it was you, I said it was you, didn't I mark?"  Mark folded his arms nervously.  
  
  
"We should leave him alone, Max," said Mark, clearly afraid of the Duke. At first the Thin White Duke thought he was seeing double, but soon realized they were twins.  
  
  
"What do you want?" grumbled the Duke.  
  
  
"We got a party on tonight," explained Max, "lots of newbies and free samples, you should really come along."  
  
  
Duke considered it, but the story behind these parties was quite grim. It happened every so often when a lot of the regulars started to drop dead, new customers needed to get hooked so the money kept flowing.  
  
  
"Can I put your name down?" asked Max, eagerly.  
  
  
"Alright," sighed the Duke, "where is it?"  He was given a piece of paper with an address scribbled upon it, he slipped it into his sleeve and turned away.  
  
  
"Don't forget to bring a newbie!" Max called over his shoulder as he and Mark left. Duke rolled his eyes, _bring a newbie indeed..._


	38. An Overdose Of Reality

That night found the Thin White Duke sitting by the window, gazing out of it as the party got into full swing. There was a lot of talking, laughing and getting fucked up but he was silent in his observations. With a look around the room every so often, he saw glazed stares and pale skin. He saw needles, blood, people throwing up while others passed out or fell down from the rush of their first high. It all seemed so futile to him now, like when something was fun as a child but no longer appealed to you when you grew up.  
  
  
He frowned as he watched them all quietly, smoking a cigarette and turning away all who came to him looking for drugs. Max sat down across from him and the Duke ignored him, his gaze fixed upon a young woman who was hitting up a guy for some speed. It was her first time, she was in for a ride.  
  
  
"Hey thanks for coming," said Max, "half these people would never have showed up but I told them you would be here."  
  
  
Duke slowly looked at Max now, he felt bored and wanted to leave but the storm outside had grown quite terrifying and the person who lived here had already announced that they were all welcome to stay the night. He didn't quite fancy sleeping upon the floor, but it's not like he hadn't ever done it in the past. He looked around the room again, guys were groping the newbie women while they hit their highs as other people were making out in the corners. Music was playing but all it did was give him a headache and he started to feel agitated, it was worse than before because he still hadn't slept a wink.  
  
  
One girl came to sit beside him, she was tripping pretty badly and wouldn't stop talking but he could barely understand a word she was saying. Her speech was slurred, her eyes were half closed and she soon passed out mid sentence.  
  
  
"I'll take her off your hands," said the man who had given her the drugs, "she won't bother you again."  He watched as the girl was lifted up and taken to a corner, but he stood up and approached them when he saw the man taking off the unconscious girl's underwear.  
  
  
"Hey - Don't do that!" the Thin White Duke hauled the man to his feet by the collar of his shirt.  
  
  
"Relax, Duke!" the man held up his hands in a peaceful manner, "take it easy, I was just havin' some fun."  
  
  
"Not like that you bloody don't!" snapped the Duke, reaching into his pocket to find his gun.  
  
  
He then remembered it was back in the house, but the man made a quick exit and didn't stick around to discover whether he had a weapon or not. Duke knelt down and pulled her knickers back up, straightened her skirt and looked around for someone who might know her. Suddenly, she started to convulse and froth at the mouth. He watched in horror as she had a fatal reaction to whatever she'd been given and then she was still, so he checked her wrist for a pulse. None, so he checked her neck but still nothing.  
  
  
She was dead.  
  
  
He glanced around, he didn't know what to do. But nobody took any notice, she was just another nameless face in the crowd. He stood up and backed away, shaking his head in disbelief as the reality hit him. _That could have been me..._  
  
  
He left the house quietly and didn't look back.  
  
  
*  
  
  
He returned to the venue he was at earlier, he had taken a room key from them before he'd left in case he needed to return and he was glad to have thought ahead. He went upstairs to the room, let himself in and shut the door before locking it. He hung the key on the hook on the wall by the door, then he took off his clothes and hung them in front of the heating unit to dry. He was soaked to the skin, so he went into the small bathroom and took a long, hot shower. As the water streamed down over his body, his hands began to roam and he closed his eyes to imagine Liana right there with him.  
  
  
He became aroused, really wishing he'd have stayed now. He ran one hand over his chest, the other stroked his cock lightly but it wasn't the same. He turned off the water and got out of the shower, dried himself off but kept the towel around his waist. There wasn't anyone else around to see him, but for some reason he just felt he needed it and he had no idea why. He closed his eyes, but all he could see was that girl's face with the foam all over her mouth and he gasped with a start; his eyes snapping open. He scratched at the back of his bandaged hand, shivering a little as the thunder and lightning clashed outside the window. He stood and drew the blinds down, then he took off the towel and got into bed but he dared not close his eyes; for every time he did - he saw her.  
  
  
At one point he saw her eyes open and she screamed at him, blaming him for not stopping her and he decided that sleep was overrated anyway.


	39. Go Home, Duke

Morning saw him flicking through the channels on the little television provided in the room, it wasn't color or anything flash but it was enough to keep him occupied until the storm was over. This was his second night of not sleeping, his eyes were tired and his body was fatigued but still he couldn't seem to just fall asleep. Every time he felt like he was about to fall unconscious, he would suddenly jolt awake again. He started to get very frustrated, agitation ever present and he paced restlessly a few times before dressing himself and leaving the room.  
  
  
"I never thought I'd live to see the day," chuckled Phil, "the Thin White Duke awake in the morning, bright and early?"  Duke handed him the key.  
  
  
"Couldn't sleep," he muttered, sitting down and lighting up a cigarette, "what's cooking?"  
  
  
"You're asking for breakfast?" Phil was certainly surprised.  Duke didn't respond, sucking on his ciggy and looking around the venue. People were grabbing coffees and muffins to go, the storm had blown itself out and there were sirens in the distance as rescue crews began to survey the damage that had been done overnight.  
  
  
"Wild storm," Phil tried to make conversation.  
  
  
"I've seen worse," boasted the Duke, leaning on the counter with one elbow. Phil smiled at him and pushed a plate across the counter, shaking his head as if not believing what he was seeing when the Duke grabbed a fork and started to eat. He was so hungry, it felt strange but filling his stomach with food felt good and the Duke finished everything that had been given to him. He stood up and put his cigarette out, nodding to the bartender.  
  
  
"Your cooking's shit," he teased with a genuine grin.  
  
  
  
  
  
"You're welcome," Phil's eyes glinted in return, pleased to see the Thin White Duke looking so healthy; if a little tired. It had always bothered the old man to see young people in such a state, so it gave him hope that if this one could give it up then anyone could.  
  
  
"Duke, do me a favour," Phil told him.  Duke glanced up from checking his pockets for another cigarette, he was running low.  
  
  
"Anything for you, Phil," smirked the Duke, "just don't try to poison me again, that breakfast was dodgy at best!"   Phil grinned at him, but his eyes were stern.  
  
  
"Go back to your new friends," Phil told him gently, passing him a whole pack of cigarettes, "I'm rooting for you. I'm really proud of you."  Duke noticed the tears in the old man's eyes, he pursed his lips and nodded as he accepted the cigarette packet.  
  
  
"I suppose I should be getting back," he decided, "those two are useless without me."  Phil smiled, the tears falling down his cheeks at last.  
  
  
"I don't usually cry in front of people," Phil sniffled, using a rag to dry his face.  
  
  
"You're okay, Phil," Duke reassured him, "we're old friends, aren't we?"   Phil nodded eagerly.  
  
  
"I like to think so," he agreed, "it's certainly an honor knowing you at the very least."  Duke allowed Phil to hug him briefly, then he walked out the door and headed home. He paused just outside as he lit up again, frowning.  
  
  
  
Did he just think of Liana's house as... _home?_


	40. Witchcraft

Liana was not having the best time of it, she tried so hard to sleep that night but it was just about impossible when she had no idea where the Thin White Duke was. Steph slept in the bed alongside her, but it only helped if Liana closed her eyes and imagined she was listening to his soft breathing beside her. It was very early when Liana sat up, her eyes wide and her heart pounding.  
  
  
"Steph!" she nudged her friend awake, "did you hear that?"  Steph sat up slowly, listening. Another sound.  
  
  
"Someone's in the kitchen," hissed Steph, "didn't you lock the door last night?"  
  
  
"I thought maybe Duke would come back," Liana admitted quietly, "I didn't want to lock him out in the storm."  
  
  
They glanced at each other, then rushed out of the bed nearly tripping over each other. Scrambling to the kitchen, their eyes fell upon him as he turned around with two fingers in his mouth and a jar of jam in his hand. He slipped his fingers out of his mouth, closed the fridge door and placed the jar onto the kitchen counter.  
  
  
"You uh, you're out of jam," he said hesitantly. Liana threw herself into his arms, almost knocking him over and hugging him tightly. His discomfort was noticed by Steph, but she simply smirked and leaned against the door frame. She was pleased to see him come back, but she was still feeling terrible about what she and Liana had argued about.  
  
  
"Where _were_ you? I was so _worried!_ " Liana drew back and looked him over, "are you hurt? Did you have enough to eat?"  
  
  
"Will you quit fussing?" he growled at her, "I'm fine!" He didn't want to get mad at her, he just couldn't help it.  He pulled away from Liana, then he walked by Steph and went to sit on the sofa to try and relax.  
  
  
"His eyes are bloodshot," Steph noted, "I'm betting he hasn't slept in a while."  
  
  
"Is that a drug thing?" asked Liana.  
  
  
"It can be," nodded Steph, "coming off certain drugs will cause Insomnia sometimes."  
  
  
"How can we help him get to sleep then?" Liana questioned her, "sleeping pills are out."  
  
  
"There are other ways," Steph told her, "he just needs to relax."  
  
  
Liana walked into the living room and sat beside him, she shifted closer and put her hand on his arm. He pulled away, but she remained close to his side.  
  
  
"I was just worried about you," Liana tried, "that's all."  
  
  
"I know," he gave a heavy sigh.  
  
  
"I love you, Duke," Liana reminded him, "you know that, right?"  
  
  
"Yes," he replied, impatiently.  
  
  
"Would you talk to me?" Liana asked him.  
  
  
"Will you just leave me alone?!" he suddenly shouted at her. Liana jumped, her heart racing at the loud noise and she sat back from him.  
  
  
"Are you a witch?" he demanded.  
  
  
"What?" Liana was confused, "why would you say that?"  
  
  
"I feel like you've put a spell on me," he accused her, "admit it, you did!"  
  
  
"Do you know how _crazy_ you sound?" Liana asked him. He stared at her mutely for a little while, then he averted his gaze.  
  
  
"I'm sorry," he spoke softly now.  Liana touched his face, making him look at her.  
  
  
"It's alright," she replied, "I know you're not sleeping well."  He let her shift closer again, not pushing her away this time.  
  
  
"It's just that, even though I wasn't here," he told her, "I couldn't stop thinking about you."  Liana blushed.  
  
  
"Really?" she couldn't believe it, "what about Steph?"  He seemed puzzled.  
  
  
"Steph?" he was uncertain of the question.  Liana lowered her eyes.  
  
  
"I know what you two did," she admitted. She looked at him again, he was clearly not following her.  
  
  
"Yesterday morning," she prompted him.  
  
  
"What about it?" he asked her calmly, "it was nothing, she just wanted to fuck for old time's sake, so we did."  Liana was surprised, but her heart warmed to know that he wasn't into anyone else right now.  
  
  
"I _like_ you, Liana," he told her, "but sometimes you just need to back off a bit."  Liana was listening quietly, it was important to hear him out because he so rarely ever opened up.  
  
  
"I realize you might feel the need to be alone," Liana agreed, "but honey, I don't know unless you tell me."  He stared hard at her, his icy blue eyes captivating her all over again and she felt her heart flutter.  
  
  
"Did you just call me 'honey'?" he asked her, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. Liana hit his arm gently.  
  
  
"Oh, shut up!" she grumbled playfully. He smiled at her, then she got serious again.  
  
  
"I love you so much it hurts," she told him honestly, "and I want you to love me."  
  
  
"Hence the spell casting," he tried again.  
  
  
"Would you stop?" Liana felt a little exasperated at him. He fell silent, but she could tell by the way he was watching her that he hadn't let go of the argument just yet.  
  
  
"Is Steph a witch?" he asked.  
  
  
"Why would she make you fall for me?" asked Liana, "she wants you all to herself."  Liana put her hand over her mouth, she hadn't meant to say that out loud to him.


	41. I Should Have Done Something

He sat back, surprised.  
  
  
"She does?" he asked. Liana nodded, lowering her hand.  
  
  
"It's funny, actually," she tried to sound amused, "we kind of fought over you."  
  
  
"Who won?" he wanted to know, unsure if he was comfortable being a prize.  
  
  
"Nobody," Liana replied, "we decided you'd choose for yourself."  He liked that idea better, but what if he met someone new?  
  
  
"You seem so distant since you came home," Liana pointed out, "is everything alright?"  His gaze flicked to the fireplace, the reflection of the flames turning his eyes a bright orange.  
  
  
"I watched her die," he spoke so softly, Liana could barely hear him, "why didn't I try to stop her? She was so young... "   Liana didn't know what he was talking about, but she didn't like what he was saying.  
  
  
"You didn't know," she tried to comfort him, "how could you possibly know?"  
  
  
"I didn't even try!" his fists balled up, "I just turned the other way, it was her first time... She didn't stand a chance, I should have warned her... "   So it was drugs.  
  
  
"Would she have listened to you?" Liana asked him. He didn't answer.  
  
  
"Would you have listened to someone if they asked you to stop doing drugs?" Liana went on.  
  
  
He looked at her meaningfully, because he had listened to only one person. He knew that she had saved his life, he wouldn't ever forget that after today. 


	42. He's Mine!

She unbuttoned his vest and shirt, pushing them to the floor.  She then walked over to the drawers by the television, took out some massage oil and spread it over her hands. Then she sat behind him, rubbing it into his shoulders and back. His eyes closed, his muscles felt all tied up in knots and Liana had to really rub hard to loosen them.  
  
  
She took notice of the slight difference in how his shoulders felt, they were not quite as thin and frail as they had felt some days before. Even his upper arms and chest were starting to build some muscle tone. He looked really good, filling out ever so slightly and she knew that if she could just keep him eating; everything would be alright.  
  
  
*  
  
  
Steph had finished eating and decided to wash up, then she grabbed a soda from the fridge and went to the sitting room to read a book. Liana and the Thin White Duke needed some time alone, she understood this and wouldn't let her jealousy get in their way. It wasn't easy, the lines in the book blurred as tiny stinging tears pricked her eyes. She slammed the book closed, sniffling and throwing it at the floor. Steph loved him, too.  
  
  
_Why didn't he see that?_

  
**

  
It was quite the position to be in, while the Duke was used to being flirted with by several women (and sometimes men) he wasn't accustomed to being fought over by two people who were apparently in love with him and not just looking for sex or drugs. As Liana sorted out his knotted muscles, he felt the tension fading away and his body started to relax. Liana felt him responding positively to the massage, rubbing softer when the tightness in his shoulders subsided. She trailed her hands down over his chest and kissed his cheek, his eyes slowly opened to look at her. Liana leaned closer and planted soft kisses upon his lips, then his mouth opened and they made out.  
  
  
Liana gave a short squeal as he dragged her over the top of the sofa and down on top of himself, then resumed making out with him when he smiled seductively up at her with half closed eyes. Liana slipped her hand down into his pants, a muffled moan escaping into her mouth as she grasped his cock. She curled her fingers gently as she lightly stroked him, coating his hardening member with the slick oil and feeling his hand slide up under her shirt to squeeze her breasts. Liana arched her back, his thumb found a nipple and teased it. Her body began to grow excited and aroused at his touch, his soft moans making her breathe more heavily.  
  
  
Steph noticed that the talking in the living room had stopped, she crept out of the sitting room and down along the hall to the doorway. She could hear the Duke moaning and it broke her resolve to let Liana share him with her, it didn't seem like such a good idea anymore. Steph did indeed desire to have the Thin White Duke all to herself, he was the only one who had ever fucked her and nobody else even came close to measuring up in any way whatsoever. She didn't want anyone else anyway, she just wanted him and nobody else would ever do. She bit her pinky finger, a dark thought crossing her mind and making her eyes light up.  
  
  
When he was addicted to cocaine, he never did pass up the opportunity to have sex. He was only with Liana because she was getting him off the drugs and his mind was different now, so all Steph had to do was get him back onto them again. Then he would see Liana for what she really was, a boring drug-free square who had no imagination during sex. Steph closed her eyes and smiled as she thought about the weird things she and Duke had done in the past, everything from handcuffs to toys. He'd used quite a few objects on her at her request and she had enjoyed them all, but if he ended up with Liana - it'd never happen again. Liana made him feel good about himself, she gave him a feeling of respect he hadn't ever experienced before.  
  
  
Steph opened her eyes and looked over at the television, it wasn't on so she could see them through the reflective screen.  Liana wasn't facing him anymore, he had hold of her hips and was driving himself in and out of her. Liana's head was lowered, her eyes closed and she was panting quickly. Steph watched them silently, slowly making her way over to them until she was right there beside them. Liana took no notice, too far gone and close to release to care but Duke was looking at Steph confusedly within moments. She placed her hand at the back of his head and drew him into a steamy kiss, Liana moaned loudly as he seemed to grow harder within her in response.  
  
  
Steph trailed her free hand down to gently cup and fondle his balls, further arousing him to the point of moaning deeply into the kiss. Liana threw back her head, she cried out as her orgasm hit and her eyes squeezed tighter shut than before. As her body rocked, his thrusts became harder and faster and her breasts were moving back and forth with the motion. His breathing became more intense, Steph had to let go of him as he drew back to shift his mouth to her neck and shoulder. He kissed, sucked, licked and Steph moaned in response; her eyes fluttering closed. She wanted him to think of her, not Liana, as he came. Steph watched him carefully, waiting for the right moment.  
  
  
His eyes rolled shut, he started to utter short groans of pleasure and she knew he was building up to release. Keeping her hand between his legs, giving his balls a soft squeeze, her other hand slid up over his stomach towards his chest. Reaching his throat, she held it gently and stopped him from being able to look down at Liana. His eyes flashed at her, she held his gaze.  
  
  
"Oh, uhh! _Steph_... " he shut his eyes, his thrusts almost stopping as the sensations overwhelmed his lower region. His mind had been confused, he hadn't meant to call her name. Liana opened her eyes, glancing sideways and finally noticed Steph standing there looking smug. She felt awkward, but the feeling of having the Duke come inside of her so hard and strong made her orgasm again as he hit her cervix in just the right way. Her inner walls continued to keep hold of him, preventing him from pulling out until they had relaxed enough. He gently let himself slide out of Liana, she instantly got to her feet and glared at Steph accusingly.  
  
  
"What do you think you're _doing?!_ " Liana demanded. Steph backed away slightly, leaving the Duke alone for the moment.  
  
  
"I've _had it_ with this deal!" Steph shouted at her, " _I_ want him!"  
  
  
"Well you _can't_ have him!" Liana shouted back, "he likes _me!_ "  
  
  
" _Likes_ you," Steph pointed out, "not _loves_ you!"  
  
  
As they fought, he stood up and grabbed his clothes before vanishing into the bedroom. Moments later, he stared across the hallway at the arguing pair. His eyes were sad, it wasn't any fun to see them like this and he walked into the kitchen. He found his gun, slipped it into it's holster and walked out the front door. He hesitated to light up a cigarette, still the fighting could be heard and he sighed heavily. As a tear managed to find it's way down his cheek, the Thin White Duke walked away from the only place he had ever called his home.  
  
  
  
This time, there were no intentions of return.


	43. Broken Home

He walked aimlessly for a while, not really paying too much attention to where he was going and not really caring, either.  
After a while, he felt something that finally got his attention and not in a good way. He stopped walking to lean against a wall, his eyes closed and he dropped to the ground slowly. He shook his head a little, trying to defy the oncoming pain but it was no use. With a groan of agony, he clutched at his stomach and doubled up helplessly.  
  
  
"Liana!" he called, weakly, "help... _*gasp*_ Help me!"  
  
  
**  
  
Steph and Liana were still arguing, almost ready to start physically brawling when suddenly Liana happened to look at the sofa.  
  
  
"Wait, where'd he go?" she asked. Steph looked at the sofa, then around the living room.  
  
  
"Duke?" she called, "Duke! Where are you?"  No response. Liana walked to the door and looked into the hallway, but she couldn't hear a sound.  
  
  
"Duke?" Liana called, "are you here?"  She walked to the bathroom, while Steph checked the kitchen. They met back at the bedroom, finding it empty as well.  
  
  
"His gun is missing," Steph reported.  
  
  
"It can't be," Liana fretted, "he gave it to me so he wouldn't hurt himself."  Putting their jealously aside, the two women put on their shoes and coats.  
  
  
"We have to find him," Liana stated firmly, "what if he has another attack?"  
  
  
"I hope he's alright," Steph opened the door, "this is all my fault!"  
  
  
"It's _mostly_ your fault," Liana corrected her, "but I am partly to blame as well. We shouldn't fight like that in front of him, he blames himself."  Steph nodded silently, they got into Liana's car and began to drive slowly; looking for the Thin White Duke.  
  
  
"Where do we start?" asked Liana.  
  
  
"I know some places," Steph told her, "we'll try them first." Liana nodded, working together was the best way to locate him in the shortest possible time.


	44. Drugged

The pain made him see nothing but a red haze in front of his eyes, he could barely move except to take in sharp breaths and bite his fist so as not to scream too loudly. The last thing he needed was to draw attention to himself in this state, anything could happen and none of it was good. Through his muffled cries of pain, he vaguely heard some voices and he bit down harder to quiet himself. His breathing was ragged, he tasted blood, it hurt _so bad_...  
  
  
"I told you I heard something," said a voice nearby.  
  
  
"Hey Buddy, you alright there?" asked another.  Duke felt someone's hand upon his back, but he was unable to respond.  
  
  
"Hey Gary," said the first voice, "isn't that the Thin White Duke?"  Gary knelt down and got a closer look.  
  
  
"You're right," he confirmed, "and it looks like he's crashing, real bad."  
  
  
"That's no problem," the first voice spoke again, "I always carry a spare kit."  Duke felt someone roll up his sleeve, then something tight fastened securely around his upper arm.  
  
  
"No," he groaned, "no, don't... "  He groaned again, gasping for air and trying to move away from the strange people who had found him.  
  
  
"Take it easy, Duke," said Gary, "we're here to help."  
  
  
"Who would have ever thought we would find the _Thin White Duke_ crashing in an alley?" mused the first voice.  
  
  
"Keep quiet and hold him still, Theo," said Gary, "he's squirming up a storm!"  Theo held the Duke still, pinning his arm down so it wouldn't move.  
  
  
"Stop," Duke gasped desperately, "you don't... don't understand!"  
  
  
"Give me the syringe," came Gary's voice again. Gary started firmly tapping the crook of Duke's elbow.  
  
  
"No!" Duke tried to wrench free, but Theo must be a very large man because he could barely even breathe crushed under his weight, let alone struggle free.  
  
  
"Please, _stop_!" Duke breathed again, "I don't want... _Argh!_ "  The needle was forced into his arm. He shut his eyes tighter, feeling something shooting suddenly into his vein.  
  
  
" _Ah_.. Oohh _no_ ," he felt funny, but the pain was going away, "hmmm... "  He was calming down, so Theo loosened his grip but continued to hold the Duke's arm steady until the needle was removed safely.  
  
  
"That should tide him over for a while," said Gary, removing the tie from around the Duke's upper arm.  Theo climbed off the Duke and they stood back, watching him sit with his back to the wall. His eyes were still closed, but he was not screaming anymore.  
  
  
"What'll we do with him now?" asked Theo.  
  
  
"Let's get him back to the boss," suggested Gary, "I think he'd be _very_ interested to meet the _Thin White Duke_ in person."


	45. Choker

His vision blurred as he was lifted to his feet, the will to fight now subdued by the rush. They took him back to a place where few people dared to venture, a little restaurant owned and run by a vicious Druglord. He was well known around the city as being ruthless, uncaring and had so many fingers in so many pies that he was never behind bars. When Theo and Gary walked in with the Thin White Duke, all eyes turned towards them and a hush fell over the entire venue. They walked him over to the table where their boss was seated, an impressed expression upon his face.  
  
  
"Lookie what we found, boss!"  Gary announced.  
  
  
"I see him," replied the boss, "what's he doing here? He doesn't run with us."  
  
  
"We found him crashing in an alley not far from here," said Theo, "maybe he was lost or something."  
  
  
"It is true that I have not seen him in these parts for a long time," the boss spoke again, "but he has been here a few times in his travels, he was not lost."  But the questions still remained, why was he back here? And why was he crashing? The Thin White Duke was never in short supply of drugs, some people even liked to call him a walking cigarette...  
  
  
"Make him comfortable, boys," the boss instructed them, "let's see what he has to say for himself when he snaps out of it." He was taken to a back room and lay down onto a soft bed, he relaxed and they left him alone in the dimly lit room.  
  
  
**  
  
Steph and Liana had tried a number of venues where they had seen the Duke before, they asked around but very few had seen him lately and even fewer knew where else to look for him.  
  
  
"I've got an idea," said Liana, "why don't we find Nick and ask him?"  
  
  
"What makes you think he'd know where to find Duke?" asked Steph.  
  
  
"He's Sammy's brother, right?" said Liana, "Duke and Sammy were close, really close. Nick has to know another place we haven't checked yet!"  
  
  
"Alright," Steph agreed, "let's go."  
  
  
**  
  
  
His head spun as he sat up, blinking in the semi darkness and only vaguely recalling how he got there. Duke got out of the bed and made his way out in the dimly lit hall, looking around. He knew this place, it was familiar somehow. Stumbling out into the main area, he was greeted quickly by Gary.  
  
  
"Over here," Gary led him to the boss's table, though he still felt a little dazed - he sat down obligingly.  
  
  
"Duke," smiled the boss, several gold teeth glinting in his mouth. Duke gave a half hearted nod.  
  
  
"It's been a while," Duke greeted the boss.  
  
  
"It has indeed," replied the boss, "how are you doing these days?"  
  
  
"I _was_ doing fine," Duke frowned now, "until your _thugs_ got hold of me." The boss stopped smiling.  
  
  
"Did they rough you up?" he asked, suddenly angry.  
  
  
"No," Duke calmed him, "they _shot_ me up, I didn't _want_ it."  
  
  
"They said you were crashing," the boss told him, "I'd have done the same thing."  
  
  
"Listen, just between you and me," Duke lowered his voice, "I'm coming off the drugs, alright? You gotta let me go." The boss took a moment to let this information sink in, not quite believing it even though it came directly from the Thin White Duke himself.  
  
  
"Choker, _please_ ," Duke said gently, "let me go." The boss, who was well known as 'Choker' because his favorite method of convincing people to bend to his will was by choking them until they either agreed or died, leaned back and puffed on his cigar thoughtfully.  
  
  
"You don't wanna leave, Duke," Choker told him, "you belong here with us. Tell me, do you have this overwhelming sense of urgency inside you? Like, you gotta do something really important, but you just can't figure out what it is?"  Duke stared hard at him in amazement.  
  
  
"How... How could you _possibly_ know that?" asked the Duke. Choker grinned knowingly.  
  
  
"How much do you know about wolves, Duke?" asked Choker.  
  
  
"Not a great deal," replied Duke, "why?"  
  
  
"You can take a puppy away from his pack," Choker explained, "even before his eyes are open. But he will always know where he don't belong."  Duke listened carefully, stunned into silence.  
  
  
"He knows he don't belong with good, obedient dogs," Choker continued, "he hears the cry of his brothers and he yearns to run with them. _We're_ your real family, Duke. You belong here with us, that's why you feel out of sorts - you know where you don't belong."  
  
  
It made enough sense that Duke sat and thought about what Choker was trying to tell him, his stoned gaze fixed upon a gold tooth that was suddenly really shiny and utterly fascinating.  
  
  
"Now," Choker leaned forwards and their eyes met, "you don't _really_ wanna leave, do ya Duke?"  
  
  
  
  
  
The Thin White Duke set his jaw, pursed his lips and steeled his gaze.  
  
  
"Now, before you answer," Choker clicked his fingers and a guy dropped a sizeable bag of cocaine onto the table.  
Duke stared down at it, digging his fingernails into his thighs under the table.  
  
  
"That's too much," he said reluctantly, "I'm a little short."  
  
  
"I didn't realize you'd fallen on hard times," Choker sympathized, "just take it. Use some and sell the rest, we're here for you til you're back on your feet." He pushed the bag towards Duke, who began to scratch at the back of his hand again.  
  
  
"Choker... I.. " he hesitated, that old craving building up within him.  
  
  
"You don't have to answer me right now," Choker relented, "just think about it." Duke nodded and slowly stood up, he felt tired and went to the back room to lay down.


	46. Not This One

When he got there, he looked a little puzzled because there was a girl on the bed. She sat up quickly, her eyes wide.  
  
  
"Who are you?" Duke asked her.  
  
  
"Katie," replied the girl. Duke sized her up and she averted her gaze.  
  
  
"How old are you?" he asked her, frowning.  
  
  
"Twenty one," she replied quickly, not looking at him. Duke smirked.  
  
  
"I don't think so," he shook his head gently, "you shouldn't be here."  She glared at him.  
  
  
"And I suppose you should?" she retorted. He was silent for a moment, then he sighed.  
  
  
"No," he answered her softly, "actually, I should be home right now and so should you." He grabbed her arm and pulled her off the bed.  
  
  
"Hey!" she shouted, "what the hell do you think you're doing?! Let go of me!" He hauled her to the door, then he made her look at him.  
  
  
"You don't belong here!" he hissed at her angrily, "I'm taking you home!" She lowered her eyes meekly, nodding silently. Nobody tried to stop him at first, he was free to leave and think about Choker's offer but then someone noticed the girl.  
A man walked over to the Duke and grabbed his shoulder.  
  
  
"That bitch is mine!" he spoke angrily.  
  
  
"That's the guy who brought me here," said Katie. Duke looked at the man, who was clearly in his thirties.  
  
  
"You're not taking her anywhere," the man raised his voice, "I found her, I'm fuckin' her!"  
  
  
Katie squirmed and Duke made a fist, surprising the man with a swift punch that connected directly with his nose. The man stumbled back, blood spurting everywhere and he held his nose with one hand; producing a knife with the other. Katie squealed but Duke drew his gun, the knife was instantly dropped to the floor.  
  
  
"Back off, Peter!" Choker stood up. The man backed away and went to the bathroom to clean himself up, muttering curses under his breath. Duke glanced at Choker, who nodded his approval. Katie followed him outside, instantly wrapping her arms around herself and shivering with the bitter cold.  
  
  
"So, what now?" she asked him.  
  
  
"I'm taking you home," Duke replied, "where do you live?"  
  
  
"I don't want to go home!" Katie protested, "I want to have some fun!" He rolled his eyes.  
  
  
"That kind of fun you can live without," he told her firmly.  
  
  
"You sound like my mother," Katie folded her arms.  
  
  
"She sounds like a wise woman," Duke told her, "let's go." He hailed a cab, they got in and Katie directed the driver to her home.  
  
  
"So how old are you really?" asked the Thin White Duke. Katie sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear, nervous.  
  
  
"Fourteen," she said quietly. He lifted a brow, then said nothing more until the taxi stopped.  
  
  
"Thanks," Katie smiled at Duke, "I think you probably saved my life tonight." He watched her silently as she went inside, the driver turned around and looked at him.  
  
  
"Where to pal?" he asked. The Thin White Duke paused, thinking it over very carefully in his mind. Where _did_ he want to go?  
  
  
"Take me back to where you picked me up, please," he finally replied. The driver shook his head, but said nothing as he drove away from the girl's house.


	47. Rescue Me

Choker was clearly pleased to see the Thin White Duke return, his eyes gleamed eagerly as Duke rejoined him at the table.  
  
  
"Have you considered my offer?" Choker asked him.  
  
  
"I have," nodded Duke.  
  
  
"And?" Choker smiled, showing his gold teeth and pushing the bag towards him again.  
  
  
"Stop!" shouted a voice, startling the Thin White Duke and all eyes turned to the source.  
  
  
**  
  
Liana and Steph had found their old friend Nick, he was reluctant at first but they finally convinced him to help them find the Duke. He showed them to a few places, but everywhere they went was the same; nobody had seen him. It was starting to look hopeless.  
  
  
"There is one place," Nick finally remembered, "I haven't been there in years, it's a longshot though."  
  
  
"Show us," Liana insisted, "we have to find him!" Nick showed them the way to a shadowy venue, Liana wasn't sure she should go in there.  
  
  
"Maybe you should wait out here in the car," Steph told her.  
  
  
Liana nodded quietly. Nick and Steph got out, then walked into the building and Steph looked around; she saw the Duke at a table. Some guy was pushing cocaine at him, it stirred something within her and she felt angry.  
  
  
"Stop!" she shouted and everyone turned to stare at her. She strode over to the table, looking at the Duke pointedly.  
  
  
"Don't do it, Duke," Steph urged him, "come home, please?" He looked at her and she felt her heart breaking, he was high.  
  
  
"No," she said softly, an obvious sadness in her tone as she slowly shook her head, "Duke... "  He frowned, as if he didn't understand why she was so upset.  Nick stayed back, watching everyone else in case someone made a move on Steph. He hoped that she could get him out of there, this was a hard place to leave once Choker had you in his grip. Steph was getting nowhere, he just wasn't interested in what she was saying. She tried everything she could think of to convince him to go home, but he refused.  
  
  
Duke associated her with fighting, revenge sex and pain. Lots and lots of pain... Here? He was okay here, they had everything he needed.  
  
  
"Get out of here, Steph," he told her flippantly, "this is my home now." Choker shrugged innocently, grinning at Steph wickedly.  
  
  
"Unless you'd rather stay, too?" Choker offered Steph. Duke chuckled, sitting back amusedly.  
  
  
"She doesn't do drugs anymore," he mused.  
  
  
"Duke?" came a soft voice. He looked past Steph and his heart skipped a beat, he stood up immediately.  
  
  
"Liana," he stared at her, unblinking. She smiled at him and walked over to the table, taking his hand into hers.  
  
  
"I know you told me to back off," Liana spoke to him gently, "I was... so scared, Duke." She fought back the urge to sob, her eyes filled with tears and making them shine. Duke stared at them, they reminded him of stars and distracted him with the way they sparkled.  
  
  
"Duke," Liana prompted him. He snapped out of it and blinked, once.  
  
  
"Alright," he agreed at last. Liana sighed with relief, then they heard a click and all eyes fell upon Choker. He held a gun, aimed it at Liana and kept smiling like a cheshire cat. The Thin White Duke was valuable to people like him.  
  
  
"You're not taking him anywhere," Choker said calmly.  
  
  
Steph and Liana tensed up, their hearts hammering in their chests and they jumped in fright when the sound of a shot resounded within the building. Choker looked surprised as the gun flew out of his hand, he drew back and looked up as Nick silently challenged him with a glare. Steph looked around, she didn't know Nick carried a gun but was suddenly glad he did.  
  
  
"Let's go," said Nick firmly. Liana grasped the Duke's wrist, leading him out the door quickly and Steph walked over to Nick.  
  
  
"Thank you," she whispered, then she smiled at him and kissed his cheek before she left the building. A short time later, Nick joined the others in Liana's car and they started to head to Liana's house.


	48. Shadows

Steph gazed at Nick the entire trip, smiling stupidly and Liana tried not to giggle at her lovesick expression. She looked at the Thin White Duke, who was sure to come down at any moment. Silently, they all walked into the house and Liana took Duke to bed. She made sure he was comfortable, stroking his hair until his eyes fluttered and he passed out with a soft moan.  
  
  
Then she walked into the living room and stopped short, watching Steph and Nick make out on the sofa. Liana turned and crept back to the bedroom, curling up beside her Thin White Duke with a contented sigh. He felt her arm drape over him even in his sleep, then for the first time in days; his rest was nightmare free.  
  
  
But he did not sleep for long, Liana fell asleep beside him within a few moments and then five minutes later; he was awake. He slipped out from her embrace carefully, made his way to the kitchen for a glass of water and then to the living room. He sat down by the window, lighting up a cigarette and calmly relaxing into the armchair. Nick and Steph were half naked on the sofa, indulging in some heavy petting and a messy make out session. The three of them had been to places where people did this sort of thing in every part of every room, so nobody was embarrassed.  
  
  
He sat and gazed at them for a while, half interested but mostly bored until his attention was drawn to the window. Someone was outside and considering they had just foiled a Druglord's attempt to control the Thin White Duke, it was worthwhile to take notice of strange movements outside at night for a few weeks at least. He silently got to his feet, peering through the curtains discreetly and looked around. His eyes searched the darkness of the street, until he finally located a shadowy figure out by the road. It was definitely human, so he moved away from the window and walked to the front door. Stepping out and closing the door quietly, he looked around again and the figure had gone.  
  
  
_But where?_  
  
  
He took a drag of his cigarette, then casually walked to the pavement and his eyes searched quickly around the whole time. He heard something and instantly drew his gun, his wide eyes intent and focused in the darkness.  
  
  
"Show yourself!" he demanded firmly, "or I shoot on sight!"  For a moment, it was suddenly very quiet and nothing moved except for a few leaves that were whipped around by a cold breeze.  
  
  
"Duke?" Liana was at the door now, "Duke, come inside... It's freezing."  
  
  
He turned to look at her, then he glanced around for a moment longer but whoever had been out here was long gone by now. He slowly walked back into the house and the door was locked shut, but he wasn't going to forget that he had in fact seen somebody standing out there watching the house.  
  
  
"What's with the gun?" Liana asked him.  
  
  
"I thought I heard something," replied Duke, putting the weapon away again, "did I wake you?"  
  
  
"No," Liana answered him "they did." He looked into the living room, Steph and Nick were fucking loudly on the sofa. Liana was red faced, she pulled him away from the door.  
  
  
"Don't _watch!_ " she whispered.


	49. The Wanderers

By morning, the Thin White Duke still hadn't managed to fall asleep. Liana was sleeping in the bed, Nick and Steph were half on the sofa and half on the floor - buck naked. Duke was stoking the fire, he had kept watch by the window for most of the night but nothing had given him a reason to venture outside again. A short while later, he heard Liana moving off to the shower. She would be getting ready to go to work this morning, she wasn't looking forward to it but perhaps Nick would hang around and keep the Thin White Duke from getting bored. Steph was still on her not-to-trust list, but Nick seemed alright so far. Nick woke up and yawned, then got to his feet and stretched.  
  
  
"Did I stay here all night?" he sounded puzzled, "I could have sworn I went home." Duke watched him silently. Nick scratched himself in a few places and then began to hunt for his clothes that were strewn about the living room, then Steph began to stir. She woke with a start when Nick pulled his underpants out from behind her head, she sat up and sighed heavily.  
  
  
"Morning already?" Steph grumbled, then looking to the Thin White Duke, "how long have you been there?"  
  
  
"Too long," he mused, turning towards the window again.  
  
  
"You should've joined in," Steph smiled at him, then she and Nick started to get dressed slowly.  
  
  
*  
  
  
Liana walked into the kitchen, determined to make sure nothing would go wrong while she was at work today. She made a quick breakfast for everyone, then she made plans to come home for her lunch break. She would continue on this way until she was certain things would be okay, she needed to be convinced that she could trust the Duke to make the right decisions on his own.  
  
  
But when she mentioned her plans over breakfast, he was clearly displeased and pushed his plate away with a frown. It was mostly empty, so Liana didn't worry about the food but she also didn't want to leave after a fight with him.  
  
  
"Let's go to the sitting room and talk about it, okay?" Liana tried.  
  
  
"What is there to talk about?" asked the Duke, "you've already made up your mind, I can hardly stop you."  
  
  
"Well if you hadn't gone and used drugs last night, maybe I would be able to trust you today!" Liana snapped back and regretted it instantly. She hadn't meant to snap at him, she knew he was tired and would be extra grumpy from the new withdrawals of last night's relapse.  
  
  
"You just don't understand," he stood up and walked away from the dining room. Liana was puzzled, what was there to understand? He used drugs and they'd found him stoned, she couldn't figure out why he was so upset.  
  
  
"Something's not adding up," said Nick, "why don't I talk to him?"  
  
  
"Oh, would you?" Liana felt relieved, "only, I really have to get going."  
  
  
"Sure," said Nick, "might be a nice change for him to talk man to man."  Steph rubbed his arm in appreciation and Nick went to find the Thin White Duke.  
  
  
*  
  
  
He found the Duke sitting on the back porch, he was trying to smoke and scratch at the back of his hand all at once but wasn't getting far past the bandage.  
  
  
"Did Liana send you out here?" asked Duke stiffly.  
  
  
"No," Nick stood down in front of the steps, "I wanted to talk to you." Duke eyed him suspiciously.  
  
  
"What about?" he asked. Nick fidgeted.  
  
  
"About why you'd relapse," Nick frowned, "I can't get my head around it. You're like, the strongest man I know."  
  
  
"I don't _feel_ very strong," muttered the Duke.  
  
  
"But you _are_ , don't you see?" Nick insisted, "you were a one stop drug shop and now here you are, totally kicking every habit you ever had!"  Duke stared evenly at him.  
  
  
"And failing miserably at it!" he growled. Nick knelt down now, looking him in the eye.  
  
  
"You're doing fantastic," Nick assured him, "look at how far you have come! Really, think about it!"  Duke averted his gaze.  
  
  
"I just can't figure out why you'd go out to Choker's Den," Nick puzzled, "you're better than that, Duke. What made you turn to those jerks?"  
  
  
"I didn't!" Duke stood up quickly, eyes flashing and Nick backed away, "if you must know, I was having a withdrawal attack. Some of Choker's thugs found me and shot me up, alright? I couldn't do anything about it!" Nick listened and shook his head sadly, no wonder he was all up in arms this morning.  
  
  
"Okay," he put his hands up, "I get it now." Duke slowly sat down upon the steps again, Nick relaxed and lowered his hands with a sigh.  
  
  
"I'm sorry, man," said Nick, "I should have asked before accusing you." Duke said nothing and Nick stood there quietly, waiting for him to either talk more or head back inside.  
  
  
"Hey," Nick spoke after a few minutes, "wanna go for a walk?"  Duke looked up at him.  
  
  
"Where to?" he asked.  
  
  
"Well," said Nick, "Choker's not going to be too pleased with what happened last night. We need to make sure he's not planning anything, right?" Duke nodded.  
  
  
"You're right," he replied, standing up, "the last thing we need around this place is a drug war." Nick agreed, it would put Liana and Steph in danger as well as themselves.  
  
  
"Just like old times, eh Duke?" Nick grinned as he followed the Thin White Duke to the street, "ears to the ground, putting out our feelers... "  
  
  
"Nick," warned the Duke.  
  
  
"Yeah?" Nick grinned at him still.  
  
  
" _Shut up!_ " Duke barked. Nick closed his mouth, nodding quickly. This was going to be dangerous enough, they needed to focus and pay close attention to their surroundings.


	50. We've Got Your Back

During the day, the venues Duke frequented were filled mostly with honest patrons and so it would prove to be difficult to gather information about last night. Duke and Nick sat down in the most popular club, called the Purring Kitty. It was a strip club but only at night, in daylight hours the place was practically deserted and yet they kept their doors open to all. Looking around, Duke surveyed the scattered patrons while Nick checked out the menu.  
  
  
"I think the lunch menu looks great today," Nick drooled over the list. Duke grabbed the menu out of Nick's hands, swiping it from him angrily.  
  
  
"Will you just keep your eyes open!" Duke scolded him. Nick sat back and put on a more serious face, this was dangerous work and not to be taken lightly.  
  
  
"Sorry," said Nick, "I keep forgetting."  But then, drugs would do that to someone's memory.  Duke nodded to some people who were sitting nearby, they acknowledged him and Nick started to get a little antsy. Normally, they would only come here at night and the women would swarm over the Thin White Duke whenever they saw him.  
  
  
"I wish I were as popular with the ladies as you," said Nick absently, "you never stick around, yet they continue lining up, waiting to be your next conquest!"  Duke frowned at him.  
  
  
"There's no conquest," he said casually, "you know me better than that, Nick. I'm easier than counting to one."  Nick leaned forwards, staring him in the eyes.  
  
  
"Yeah?" he said firmly, "well you shouldn't be. Everybody likes you, Duke. No matter what you do. You should have some self respect."  
  
  
"I don't deserve it," Duke responded bitterly.  
  
  
  
  
  
"I beg to differ," said Nick.  
  
  
"You _will_ be begging in a minute!" warned Duke, agitated. He lit up a cigarette as some of the people he'd nodded to earlier walked over and discreetly joined he and Nick at the table.  
  
  
"What's the word on Choker, boys?" asked Duke.  
  
  
"He's pretty pissed," said a man known only as Rat.  
  
  
"Someone was watching my place last night," Duke said calmly. Rat nodded.  
  
  
"Choker's watcher," Rat explained, "he's got a few of those, you can expect some trouble tonight if he's found ya sleepin' place. Best crash somewhere else for a bit, eh?"  Duke sighed, it was the best solution for now but Liana would never agree to live somewhere else. She wasn't the pick-up-and-go kind of person, knowing she could never return home again would most likely set her off.  
  
  
Yet, what other choice was there? He would have to go to Choker and ask him to call off whatever he had planned, but would it do any good? Rat and his friends stood up.  
  
  
"Wish we could be of more help," shrugged Rat, then they left.  Nick sighed heavily.  
  
  
"Well that's just great," said Nick, "what'll we do?"  Duke leaned back casually, drew on his cigarette calmly and smiled a little at him.  
  
  
"We take on Choker, of course," he stated simply. Nick relaxed and grinned.  
  
  
"Of course," he shrugged, "we... wait, _what?!_ Are you _insane?!_ We'll end up _dead_! Or _worse!_ "  
  
  
"We can't keep running," replied the Thin White Duke, "sooner or later, he's going to catch up."  
  
  
"I'd rather it be later," said Nick, "much, _much_ later!"  
  
  
Just then, Rat approached them again but this time he was alone.  
  
  
"I've sent Sprinter out to spread the word," Rat's voice was low, "you just tell me when and where." Duke looked a little surprised.  
  
  
"When and where?" he asked, "for what?"  
  
  
"We know Choker wants you, Duke," said Rat, "ain't nobody ever did like that bastard, so if you're plannin' on fightin' 'im, we want in on it."  
  
  
"Who is 'we'?" asked Duke.  
  
  
"Everyone," replied Rat with a crooked grin, "believe me, Duke... If this is gonna go down, it's going down with a BOOM!" He made an elaborate gesture with his hands to emphasize the 'boom' and walked back to his table.


	51. On My Own

Nick was starting to come undone, he took out a crack pipe and loaded it up before sucking on it furiously.  
  
  
Duke wrinkled his nose in disgust, it suddenly smelled so repellent and not as inviting as it once had. He contemplated Rat's offer, but could he handle the assured deaths of others if he let them know where the event was going to happen? He could try and talk to Choker, perhaps work out a deal. Nobody had to die, it wouldn't feel good to have that amount of blood on his hands.  
  
  
"I am not afraid of Choker," he said firmly, watching Nick and shaking his head lightly, "we do this alone."  He stood up and promptly left the venue, ignoring the calls of Rat and his friends to give them the location. Nick hurried to catch up to the Thin White Duke, worry lines upon his forehead.  
  
  
"We're not really doing this by ourselves, are we?" he asked, afraid, "Duke, Choker won't come alone!"  
  
  
" _We're_ not doing _anything_ alone," replied the Duke. Nick sighed and relaxed his shoulders.  
  
  
" _You're_ taking the women to your place," Duke then explained, " _I'm_ dealing with Choker."  Nick stopped short and Duke kept walking, heading home to Liana's place to get ready.  
  
  
" _Crazy_ mother fucker," Nick whispered to himself, rushing after the Duke once again.  
  
  
**  
  
"Duke, no!" Steph was unhappy with the news, "you'll be killed!"  She had been waiting for Nick and the Thin White Duke to return, but this was not the news she had been hoping to hear when they got back.  
  
  
"Then so be it," Duke bit back, "at least then, it will be finished."   He checked his gun, only a single bullet remained. _Fuck_...  
  
  
"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised," Steph gave up, "you always were a _selfish ass_."  Nick gave her a warning glance.  
  
  
"I don't understand," said Nick, "how is he being selfish? He's telling us to get somewhere safe." Steph turned to face Nick.  
  
  
"And if Duke is killed?" Steph demanded, "did you ever think of Liana's feelings in all of this?"  
  
  
"Of _course_ I did!" Duke whipped his head around and glared at Steph, "better she be alive to feel them. Now _get moving_!"  
  
  
Steph fell silent, angry tears burning her eyes but she knew he wouldn't back down now. Nick followed her outside, the plan was to pick up Liana on the way but they would say nothing of tonight until the next morning.


	52. Negotiations

Evening fell and the entire street was eerily silent, the Thin White Duke emerged from the front door to light up a cigarette. He strolled to the mailbox, leaning on it casually as several cars began to slow down and pull over. He would be lying if he told anyone that he was not terrified, that his heart was not exploding within his ribcage or that his hands were not trembling ever so slightly. As expected, Choker was not alone and each of his thugs carried a weapon or two. They surrounded the Thin White Duke, Choker looked around curiously and then sized up the Duke suspiciously.  
  
  
"Alone?" Choker asked, his gold teeth glinting in the moonlight, "you're either very stupid, or very stoned. Which is it?"  
  
  
"I don't want to fight you, Choker," replied the Duke, "I've come alone to talk to you."  
  
  
"Talkin' ain't gonna do ya no good," Choker got agitated, "you either join me or you die, simple as that."  Duke stared hard at him, not revealing his inner terror and shrugged.  
  
  
"So get it over with then," Duke pushed his luck, "if I am so disposable, here... Free shot."  He held out his arms, taking a few steps back and waiting for Choker to react.  One of his men stepped forwards, shoving his gun into the Duke's chest.  
  
  
"You want I should drop him, boss?" the man asked. Duke tensed up, he felt a little dizzy and internally willed himself back into focus. _Not now_...  
  
  
"Back off, Leroy," Choker pushed the gun away from Duke, "nobody does nothin' 'til I say so, got it?" Leroy nodded and backed away a little, but kept his eye on the Duke.  
  
  
"You might as well let him do it," Duke spoke firmly, "I am not working for you, Choker."  Choker calmly put his arm around the Thin White Duke's shoulders, pulling him closer.  
  
  
"You're gonna work for me," Choker spoke softly into Duke's ear, "I almost had you once, I can get you again."  Duke squirmed as Choker's arm came around him more tightly, pressing into his throat. He clawed at the thick arms, but it was no use.  
  
  
"Gary, Theo! Get over here!" Choker instructed. Duke squirmed some more, Choker was struggling to keep him still. The two men that had found Duke in the alley soon appeared, they looked worried.  
  
  
"Do it," growled Choker. Theo took hold of Duke, keeping him still enough so that Gary could shoot him up as they had done before.  
  
  
"I'm sorry Duke," whispered Gary, "I really don't wanna do this!"  
  
  
"Then don't!" Duke hissed desperately, " _please!_ "  Gary refused to look at him and even Theo seemed guilty. Choker tightened his grip on the Duke's throat, he felt faint and started to see spots as he struggled to get a breath in. He felt the needle going in, he stopped struggling and lowered his head in defeat; it was over. Choker smiled as he relaxed his grip, sensing the Duke had given up hope.


	53. Drug War

"Freeze!" came a loud shout. Everyone turned to see the lone figure that had emerged from the shadows, Duke looked up and widened his eyes.  
  
  
"Phil? Fuck, _get out of here!_ " Duke started to thrash against his captors, they almost lost him a few times and it took four of them to finally subdue him.  
  
  
"Nothing doing, Duke," replied Phil, "we heard you were in trouble, so we came to help."  
  
  
"We?" gasped Duke, still trying to get free, "who is _'we'?_ "  Choker began to laugh heartily.  
  
  
"One _old_ man?" he boomed with relish at the easy time he was having of this. Just then, the place was full of people as they began to emerge from the shadows in huge numbers. Duke stared around at every familiar and non familiar face, some people he knew but others he did not.  
  
  
"Everyone's here, Duke," Phil told him, "every person you've ever met and then some."  
  
  
"Not to mention every person who has ever been stiffed by Choker and his gang," shouted a voice from the crowd.  
  
  
"Yeah!" came the resounding echo from quite a number of them.  
  
  
"Leave him alone, Choker," Phil bargained, "we outnumber you all twenty to one."  Choker put up his hands in a peaceful manner.  
  
  
"Take it easy old man," Choker spoke calmly, then he swiftly drew his gun and shot Phil in the chest.  
  
  
" _ **Nooo!**_ " screamed the Thin White Duke, as the shots started to fire and the knives were drawn out.  
  
  
He was let go, blood soaked the grass and bodies dropped all around him. It was hard to know who was who in the fighting frenzy that ensued, but hesitation was fatal in such a flurry of activity. Duke set his eyes upon one person, he vowed never to rest until the blood of Choker drained into the very ground he now stood on. His heart was hurting, Phil was a good man who never had done anything to harm anyone in his life. He deserved better than what he got, so the Duke was going to make Choker pay; or else die trying. He picked up a knife from a limp hand, ducking and weaving through the bloody battle.  
  
  
He was surprised that a bullet had yet to find it's way into his body, his eyes never leaving Choker. He quickly closed the distance between himself and Choker, who was hiding behind two huge thugs who saw Duke making a beeline towards their boss. The thugs glanced at each other, then just as the Duke was close enough to lunge; they parted and Choker let out a yowl. Duke had sunk the blade deep into Choker's thigh, dragging it downwards and opening up a huge gash. Choker grabbed Duke by the throat and they wrestled for possession of the blade, rolling into some bushes by the fence.


	54. Aftermath

By the time the sun rose early the next morning, the police had been and gone but the ambulances were still very busy. Nick, Steph and Liana pulled up nearby, Liana had only learned of what was going on a few minutes ago and now she gasped at the carnage that lay before them. Bodies littered the street, people were wounded or dying and ambulances were packed full. Liana got out of the car, tears streaming down her cheeks as her eyes searched frantically for him.  
  
  
"Duke!" she called desperately, "Duke!"  Steph and Nick soon joined her, calling for their friend and searching each of the ambulances as they were about to leave. Finally, it was all silent and the street was empty. Liana sank to the ground and cried into her hands, sobbing so hard that her whole body shook with sadness and grief. Steph knelt down beside her, unable to stop herself from crying too.  
  
  
"You should have tried harder to stop him!" Liana shoved Steph away from her, "it's your fault! It's all your fault!" Steph did not reply, she sobbed harder and nodded as she cried out in anguish.  
  
  
"I can't believe he's really gone," Nick felt his knees give way and he sat down quickly, unable to comprehend a world without the Thin White Duke in it.  
  
  
"I didn't even say goodbye," Liana's voice trembled, "the last thing we did together, was argue!"  The heartbreak that they all experienced was so surreal, Liana felt that she could not cope and looked around for a weapon that may have been left behind. Nick slowly stood up, his eyes fell upon something by the bushes and he started to walk over to them.  
  
  
"Duke?" he spoke softly, then his voice got louder, "Duke!"  It was the Duke's hand, just showing out from the leaves. Liana and Steph looked on as Nick pulled the Thin White Duke out of the shrubs, his eyes were closed and he wasn't moving. Liana screamed, his clothes were covered with blood.  
  
  
Nick dragged Duke over to Liana, who threw herself onto him and sobbed harder than ever. Steph and Nick held each other, backing away so she could grieve her loss. Steph turned her face towards Nick's chest, not wanting to look anymore and she sobbed into his shirt. Nick embraced her tightly, tears flowing down his face now, too. There was movement from the bushes, Nick glanced up and Steph turned to see Choker stumble out. His breathing was short and ragged, he aimed his gun shakily at Liana and the Thin White Duke.  
  
  
"Liana!" Steph screamed, "watch out!!"  
  
  
**BANG!!**  
  
  
The sound of the shot was heard for miles around, it seemed to stop time itself as the bullet drove it's way into his heart. Choker dropped to his knees, then fell face first into the grass; dead. Liana stared down at the Thin White Duke, his last bullet now resting within the chest of his greatest enemy.  
  
  
"Duke," she whispered in disbelief. He turned his gaze to meet hers, she backed off a little as he sat up with a pained expression and a grunt.  
  
  
"Duke," Liana whispered again, not quite believing her own eyes, "are... are you hurt bad?"  Duke slowly checked himself over, then he felt Nick's hands come to grasp him under his arms. Nick lifted the Duke to his feet.  
  
  
"Lean on me," said Nick, "let's get you inside."  Duke lowered his head weakly, stumbling into the house and almost collapsing several times. He was barely conscious now, as they stripped him and checked for injuries. They found some bruises, cuts and gashes but couldn't see if there was any internal damage. He felt himself being lifted again and drifted into the darkness of sleep as he was set down onto the bed. A cool, damp washcloth was placed onto his forehead and the sheets were pulled over his naked form.  
  
  
They could only wait and hope for the best, his breathing was shallow, his pulse was weak. Liana refused to leave his side, not even for a moment and Steph brought her food and water if she looked like she may need it. Nick was pacing the living room floor, he almost ran into Steph and she saw the tears on his face.  
  
  
"I should have stayed with him!" Nick's voice trembled, "why didn't I stay? I ran! I ran like a fucking coward!" He burst into sobs and Steph held his quaking body, her own tears flowing all over again.  
  
  
"He wouldn't have let you stay, Nick!" she cried sadly, then she couldn't talk anymore because she was crying so hard.  
  
  
They both were.


	55. He's Gone

A few hours later, Nick and Steph were consoling each other on the sofa. They were no longer crying but still sniffling and holding one another in comfort.  
  
  
" **Oh my GOD, HELP**!" Liana suddenly screamed. Nick and Steph got up and scrambled into the bedroom, Liana was trying to shake the Thin White Duke into waking up.  
  
  
"He's not breathing!" she shouted, tears flowing, "do something!"  Nick grabbed her and pushed her aside, leaning down to attempt CPR. Steph and Liana clutched at each other, eyes wide and bodies trembling.  
  
  
"Please, Duke," Liana spoke softly, "don't leave me... " Steph hugged her tighter, turning Liana's face away from the scene.  
  
  
"Come on you bastard!" Nick growled, thumping the Duke's chest hard, "don't give up on us now... Come on, fight!"  
  
  
Steph took Liana out of the room, the Thin White Duke was not responding.  They sat together on the sofa, there were tissues everywhere and still they could not stop the flow of tears.  
  
  
"What'll I do without him?" Liana cried, her heart in shattered pieces and aching like mad. A wound that would never heal...  
  
"Liana?"  
  
  
She turned around slowly, her eyes widening and still overflowing with tears. Nick stood in the doorway, he looked exhausted.  
  
  
"No," Liana whispered, then she ran at him and started hitting him and shouting at him, " **No! No! No!** You _don't_ give up on him! You don't _ever_ fucking give up on him!"  Nick held her back away from him, looking her in the eyes.  
  
  
"I did all I could!" he said firmly, his voice breaking, "he's _gone_."  
  
  
Liana slapped him hard, then pushed past him and ran into the bedroom. Steph shook her head, Nick sighed heavily and broke down. He'd done everything he could, there was nothing more that could be done.


	56. The Power Of Love

Liana lay beside the Thin White Duke and cried into his chest, it wasn't moving. She pressed her ear hard to his ribs and listened, but there was no beating of his heart. She held him tightly, her body wracked with anguish and guilt. She slowly leaned over and kissed his pale cheek, sniffling and sobbing softly.  
  
  
"I love you so much," she whispered into his ear, then she lay her head upon his chest and closed her eyes. Liana felt herself drifting away slowly, the gentle rhythm of his heart beating and the soft rise and fall of his chest lulling her to sleep.  
  
  
"I must be dreaming," she whispered, her voice barely audible. She smiled as she felt his arms close around her, she dared not open her eyes and wake up because the reality was a much harsher truth that Liana would rather not face.  
  
  
"I will die here with you," she murmured faintly.  
  
  
_"Liana... "_  
  
  
She listened, almost certain she felt his breath as she heard him whisper her name. She didn't want to wake up.  
  
  
_"Liana... "_  
  
  
She opened her eyes, she had definitely felt it this time. Slowly, she dared to lift her head and look into his eyes. He smiled at her and she felt a surge of joy overwhelm her, huge sobs exploding from her and rendering her unable to speak. He sat up slowly and they embraced, his tears mingling with hers.  
  
  
"Don't _ever_ do that to me again!" Liana managed to gasp between sobs. He hugged her tighter, squeezing his eyes shut and feeling their tears soak her blouse.  
  
  
"I'm sorry," he spoke softly. Liana drew back and looked him in the eyes again.  
  
  
"I love you, Duke," she kissed him gently. He kissed her back, then drew apart from her and she stroked his face. He touched her cheek, then pushed her hair behind her ear and bit his lower lip uncertainly.  
  
  
"What is it?" she asked him, tilting her head and frowning curiously. He was silent for a time, just gazing at her and feeling unable to speak. He took her hand and kissed the back of it, she smiled at him and he finally gathered up the will to open his mouth and say it:  
  
  
"Liana... _I love you, too_."  
  
  
****  
  
=THE END=


End file.
